Noho Station

Liam was five when I started dating his mom. It had been a fairly tough bonding process. He understood that his first dad had gone away, but couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of a "drunk driving accident" just yet. I was just someone who showed up who he didn’t want or ask for and didn’t leave. And although he was a fairly sweet, exuberant kid - with me he was quiet, anxious, and when I tried to interact with him, he would always shyly bury his head into his mom's chest.

I thought maybe something for just me and him might help turn thing around, so when I suggested a Lakers' game his mom was ecstatic. Liam had posters of Rondo and LeBron covering his walls like most kids in LA so this seemed like the perfect idea.

The plan was simple. His mom pretended that Liam had a doctors appointment after school, but instead would surprise him and meet me at the North Hollywood subway station, ready to go with floor seat tickets, a new purple Lakers hat, and a smile.

When Liam saw me his face dropped a little. But after his mom explained about the game and I showed him his new hat and promised him pizza and hot dogs - his mood picked up right away. I could always tell when he was really happy because his green-eyes would go big and bright.

His mom turned to go.

And for the first time, he reached up and grabbed my hand.

A security guy stood outside the entrance to the subway station finishing a cigarette. He gave us a little nod as we approached the escalator which descended down, deep, below the busy city streets. Liam looked up and the saw pigeons flying above us, who made their homes in the vast concrete tunnel which delivered us into the underground. I looked down and him and pushed his new purple hat, too big for his head, down over his green eyes, teasing him. He laughed.

As we got off the long escalator the air became stale - warm with body heat and the slightest hint of garbage. A wet cough echoed from somewhere in the station. I bought our fare and headed to the platform.

The faces in subway stations all fit the same profile after a while - the young student, the elderly woman, a couple of wannabe hip-hop kids listening to music solely through an iPhone speaker, the young lovers, the young mom trying to corral a a couple children.

“Stay close to me.” Liam looked up. He knew to already. “Next train will be here in just a couple minutes.”

A Homeless Man brushed passed us with a phlegm-coated hack. He was maybe about fifty, with rough sun-burnt skin and pastel-pink scars on his forehead. New skin covering up the wound. He smelled like a mixture of vodka and piss. Behind him, he dragged three garbage bags full of cans, clothes, junk, who-knows-what. The Homeless Man took a seat for himself against the stairwell. I did my best to ignore him, like a good Angelino. I looked down at Liam. Liam was frightened of him I could tell. And, if I’m being honest, I was probably a little frightened of him as well.

“You excited for Lebron?” I asked, trying to get his attention.

“What’s down there?” Liam was pointing to the train tunnel, dark and empty.

“That’s where the trains come from. When our train comes, that’s where we’ll go - all the way downtown.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the homeless man scratching his forehead, digging in with his dirty nails trying to get at the new skin underneath.

He turned, pointing to the opposite tunnel. “What about that way?”

I leaned out the subway ledge, looking, “That way, I’m not sure. North Hollywood is the last stop so I think that way goes to the train yard where they fix anything that’s broken.”

I glanced back over my shoulder - the Homeless Man was looking at me.

No, he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at Liam.

He stared at Liam, his eyes were watery and dark. He scratched his forehead, scratched over the fresh pink scars harder and harder.

“Do people live down here?” Liam asked.

“Um… no.” I laughed, trying my best to ignore the Homeless Man, “No one lives down here. Only pigeons.”

“I like them. I like the Pigeons.”

“Let’s walk further down the platform,” I tugged at his hand, pulling him along with me.

“My friend Aaron at school says people live down here and they steal kids and bring them down here. He said they do things to the kids.”

We stopped walking after I found a comfortable place away from the Homeless Man between what must have been an art-school dropout and a fat tourist.

“No, people don’t take kids and bring them down here. Sometimes people don’t have places to stay at night like you and I. Sometimes people get down on their luck and need a place to rest for a few hours so they come down here. Sometimes people have it really rough.”

“Like him?”

“Like who?” I looked.

The Homeless Man was standing down the platform from us. Standing straight ahead and looking at Liam with a a little grin across his sun-burnt cheeks.

“It’s okay,” I said, “Our train’s gonna be here soon. But first, let’s see if you and me can sneak up on a pigeon.”

“Okay!”

We walked further down the platform away from the groups of people congregating near the ledges. It was stupid of me, definitely paranoid - I looked back behind us to see if the Homeless Man was still there. No. He wasn’t. Christ, I thought.

Ahead of us, a trio of pigeons pecked at some old french fries someone spilled on the platform. Liam looked up at me and I winked at him, giving him it was the signal to let go of my hand and try and tiptoe up next to the birds.

“Careful,” I said. I actually sounded like my own dad for a moment.

Liam crept closer to the pigeons. Don’t be an idiot, I thought, don’t turn around and look, he’s not behind you.

Like an idiot, I turned and looked.

The Homeless Man stood there, twenty feet away, his eyes locked on Liam. His forehead had started to spot with blood from the scratching.

“Liam” I reached down for him, not taking my eyes off the Homeless Man.

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked.

“Trains coming. C’mon.” I pulled him towards the ledge. The light from the opposite end of the tunnel started to get brighter.

Just get on the train. Don’t look back at him. Get on the train. Get on the train. Get on the train.

I looked back again.

He was gone. Nothing there except other faces standing, gathering for the coming train.

I looked down at Liam, “Do you think we should get you a Jersey-”

Liam was gone.

I could feel panic well-up in my bones. The klaxon of the arriving train rang as it pushed warm air against my face.

“Liam! Liam! Where did you go?” I started to jog down the platform, trying to see everything all at once. Oh god, no, please don’t let this be happening. “Liam!”

The train slowed to a stop and opened its doors. The people waited next to the opening doors as the other passengers disembarked. Where did you go, Liam? Please. Please. Not now.

I heard the cooing of pigeons behind me. And squatted down, hand out towards the birds was Liam in his purple Lakers hat. Thank fucking god, I sighed.

People had started to get on the train. I reached down and grabbed his hand, quickly pulling him inside the last train car before the doors closed. I let out a deep breath. Jesus, we’re gonna take a fucking Uber home. Liam climbed up into an empty seat, while I grabbed the overhead rail.

“I think I’m going to eat at least three hot dogs. How many are you-” Liam looked up at me with his eyes. His brown eyes.

This wasn’t Liam.

My chest went tight as the train started to pull away from the platform. From the last window of the last train car, I saw Liam, my Liam, in the arms of the Homeless Man. He looked so scared as the Homeless Man covered his mouth so he couldn’t scream. With the other hand - the Homeless man waved back at me.

Submitted October 28, 2018 at 12:44AM by Thyrllhaus https://ift.tt/2Od2U1o