Just finished the latest 24-issue DC treatment; never been so angry at a comic book.

OLD SPOILER ALERT FOR NEWEST CONSTANTINE TITLE, SORRY:

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I write in mourning.

Tim Seeley and his team managed to do what demons, angels, elementals, the Triumvirate of Hell, and even the self-loathing psychic detective himself failed to do. They killed John Constantine for good -- at least for this reader.

The final storyline in the latest lamentable entry into John Constantine's biography put a nail in my Hellblazer fandom once and for all. It's not just that it sucks; lots of books suck for a while, then rally under a new team. It's that the writers and artists seemed to willfully insult longtime readers. Neat, I guess, but how can I trust the exclusive publisher of this title ever again?

Here's what I mean. The "Good Old Days" storyline was basic bad comics, no big deal. But as it wound down to a close, it really insisted on the sort of T&A art I thought was already a joke. In fact, I believe it was the creative team trolling us old-school readers, who revolted against this shit in the '80s and '90s.

Then the final scene: Constantine gets an erection, causing the ridiculously depicted Huntress to immediately launch herself at his tongue. Jeez, where do all these dumb young guys get the idea that they should send dic pics to strangers?

The real insult, though, and the thing that I believe was a personal fuck-you from the writer...final words: "There's no such thing as the bloody good old days."

Okay, asshole, you got us. We used to like a great comic. We gave DC our money in the hopes that someone could rediscover the themes and the spirit that made us like said comic. You could not deliver. Somehow that makes us the putzes, like it's wrong to insist on consistent quality, even after literal decades of giving your folks mulligans?

Phew. Thanks and sorry for the vitriol. But I'm not on Twitter, so it's gotta go somewhere. In short, and in memorandum for a rake at the gates of Hell:

Lend me ten pounds, I'll buy you a drink

And mother wake me early in the morning.

Submitted September 04, 2018 at 06:34AM by terkskulker https://ift.tt/2CbiFVU