They came in through the front door

They came in through the front door. The front fucking door. You would think that extraterrestrials (that’s what I assumed them to be) possessed a little more subtlety than just walking through someone’s front door. I mean, considering they’ve been evading the better portion of humanity since the dawn of time…I don’t know.

Honestly, I would have to compare them to deer. Deer that can talk. Or whatever the fuck noise was coming out of their mouths.

They didn’t even knock…

…

Okay, picture this: I’m sitting on my couch, spacing out after ingesting roughly four grams of Golden Teachers (shrooms for the non-druggies reading this). About thirty minutes after consumption, I’m starting to feel it kick in. I decided to pack a bowl. As I’m hitting my bong packed to the brim with some shit called Heaven’s Gate, I hear what sounds like a nail being driven into the door.

It was the sound of my doorknob being smashed with a rock.

…

In some ways, they seemed primitive. Turns out they’re not too good with doors. They had found the small boulder on my front porch. My spare house key was hidden underneath. Rock in hand, they made the presumption that the doorknob had been the reason they couldn’t enter my home, and proceeded to smash it. No, I’m not kidding.

Naturally, I started to freak out. The walls had just started breathing, and my body was essentially numbed from head to toe. To be honest, I thought it was the cops. I deal pot to high school kids that live in my neighborhood, so it wouldn’t have surprised me if one of those dumb fucks had gotten caught and ratted me out to save their own ass.

The door knob falls and hits the hard wood floor, and in slide these three…things. From what I recall, they were roughly six feet tall. Their skin was as grey as an overcast sky. Their eyes were blacker than coal, with little white specs suspended in a seemingly endless sea of darkness.

As they poured into the hallway, they inspected the walls with their fingernails, which appeared to be crafted from black steel. They traced lines of white along my maroon walls, inching toward me ever so slowly. Had I not taken a piss five minutes before, my corduroys would have been saturated with urine.

They inspected my paintings, which consisted of various watercolor pieces I had done in one of my college art classes. I watched as they walked across my rug, tracking mud along the way. They stopped in front of the mirror I had purchased just the day before. By my observation, they were not accustomed to seeing their reflections. So they screeched.

Jesus, did they screech.

If I had to describe the sound, it’d be a cross somewhere between the scream of a red fox, and whatever noise Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog made in moments of distress. They began to smash the mirror, cutting their hands on the shards of glass, which were now raining down at their feet.

From what I could see, a thick yellow ooze had begun to seep out of their open wounds. So in addition to breaking into my home, tracking mud all over the goddamn rug, and smashing my new $200 mirror, they were now leaking yellow goop all over my fucking hallway.

Now, keep in mind that I’m literally melting into my couch while all of this is unfolding directly in front of me. I watched in horror while they recomposed themselves. From what I saw, they possessed regenerative abilities. The slits the glass had cut into their hands were now filming over, the wounds reconstructing themselves, leaving behind only faded scars.

At that moment, the one in the middle glanced up, seemingly to check for signs of anyone present for their blunder. And that’s when he saw me. He began screaming again to alert the others. And in unison, they too began to scream. And then began to advance on me. I muttered to myself in a state of dismay, chanting “oh, fuck oh, fuck” over and over.

They moved slowly, curious by my presence, but cautious overall. I tried to move. My mind flashed the word ‘run’ in big bold letters, but my body was frozen with terror. I noticed how the dim lamp light reflected off of their inky eyes, sending dismal tracers across my vision.

I finally managed to find my voice, realizing the creatures were roughly seven feet away from me at this point, and screamed: “What the fuck do you want from me?!”

They paused. The screamed subsided. They gazed at me in confused amazement. And for a moment, an uncomfortably still silence filled the room.

…

They began to contort.

Their necks grew several inches upward, like some kind of fucked up E.T. directly out of a Wes Craven film. Their shoulder blades popped and shifted backward, causing their scapulas to protrude from their grey skin. Their jaws shot downward to reveal two rows of sharp, crooked teeth, growing slowly from their gums.

I could hear growls resonating somewhere deep within their throats. The thick yellow ooze trickled off their chins, dripping slowly down the rest of their long, slender frames. Too awestruck in horror to notice, the creatures were now within arms length. As I opened my mouth to scream again, the one in the middle met my lips with his cold fingertip, as if to shush me. I noticed they had gone quiet. They appeared to be winded from their metamorphosis.

He then let out a long hiss. His eyelids first blinking down and then across. I felt myself hyperventilating as well, my skin coated in a thin layer of sweat. The bong slipped out of my hand and shattered on the ground. As he retracted his finger, I felt myself beginning to fade in and out. I leaned forward and emptied the contents of my stomach onto my shoes. The last thing I remember is my head hitting the floor. Hard.

…

I came to two days later, surrounded by a few of the kids I sell to from around the block. They asked if I was okay. I told them I didn’t know. I sat up and looked around, and saw my bong shattered on the floor next to me. $90 piece. What a fucking waste.

I noticed the mirror first. Not a single scratch. I looked up at the front door. The doorknob was still in tact. The kids said they had journeyed over to make sure I was okay. I wasn’t answering any of my messages. I’m the drug dealer that always answers his messages.

I told the kids not to worry. That I had just had a bad trip. I sold them what they needed and they went on their way.

…

I wanted to write the whole thing off as a bad trip. I found some mud caked into my rug. Looked kinda like footprints. Maybe one of the kids tracked it in when they came to check on me. I noticed a thin coat of what appeared to be a thick yellow sap caked into the floor just below my mirror. I had to use one of those heavy duty gum scrapers to get it up.

…

I have a burning sensation just behind my right ear. Looks like three red dots, positioned in a triangular pattern.

…

I had ADT installed into my home today.

Maybe I’m just paranoid.

Submitted July 07, 2018 at 06:45AM by AsterOid-Kid https://ift.tt/2KG9iBB