Having finished their speeches, the girls are getting into full glamour geish as they nervously await their performances. A mixture of curiosity and wanting to lighten the mood, Christie brings up the subject of gender identity and how it might affect their drag.
“Hey guys, I’ve been thinking about this for a while… As someone who is very comfortable being a cis man, i never viewed drag as absolutely requiring an atypical gender identity. Like in my case it's more about skewing gender and sexual norms than gender identity. But I know a lot of queer people use drag as a way to explore these themes when it isn't possible to do it in "normal" society. How is it for you all?”
“What’s a gender identity and how do I get one” Bridgette asks, tongue in cheek.
“Buy one from Caprice like you did your personality.” Mandala quips. “Just kidding girl, I’m just warming up… For this lip sync! The pressure is on this week, we’re getting down to the nitty gritty. But anyway, drag for me is very much what you mentioned. I’m pretty unsure or I guess fluid in my own gender expression, but I have the expectation from my family and society to act very masculine. Drag allows me to explore the exact opposite of that.”
“I don’t think drag is not about how you identify, though.” Creolla chimes in. “For me, drag is an artform that talks about gender and sexuality that you can use it to explore and/or express them. As for my gender identity and identity as a whole, it’s been a long journey coming to terms with it. First I accepted myself as a gay guy, then as a “bixa” which is kind of identity term that’s unique for Brazil, then as a black person, and I’m only now coming to terms with my transfemininity.”
“What´s a bixa? How do you use that word? Is it lika a slur?” Mandala asks.
“Yeah, it kinda would be like “faggot” or something. It’s like a super femme person that thinks over what gender means.”
“I’m a very femme looking boy and I’m mistaken for a girl a lot of the time.” Bridgette starts.
“So when will you look feminine on the runway?” Christie replies shadily, being met with the “AAAAAAAHS” and “OOOOOOOHS” of Creolla and Mandala who have to get up out of their seats to walk off the second-hand burn. Creolla even pretends to faint onto the floor as Mandala continues laughing.
“Bitch!!” Bridgette puts down her makeup brush and tries to look deadass serious, while simultaneously stifling laughter of her own. “Don’t try me today, I’m reminiscing about my first time hooking up with a 31 year old ugly guy and I’m not feeling cute.”
“Anyway, I wonder what miss Starry has to say on the subject, considering SHE’S A WOMAAAAAN!” Mandala brings up, playing up her best Miz Cracker impersonation. “Say Starry, how do you identify? Like a R’lyean moleperson or something?”
Starry rolls her eyes playfully. “Well, for one, we don’t have mole-people in R’lyeh. But to answer the original question, I tend to be very femme as far as my visual appearance goes and I feel like drag is a way of taking that up to eleven. I wouldn’t say that it’s really about gender for me, although I would certainly try my hand at masculine drag if the opportunity came my way. I am a bit afraid to explore my gender identity at the moment (even though I’m pretty comfortable as a cis woman) because I don’t want to pile another emotional issue on top of the ones I am already dealing with, but if something happened that made me rethink where I fall on the spectrum, I don’t think I would try to push it away.”
“That’s interesting actually…” Bridgette says, having considered Starry’s words. “Thinking about it, I think it is about gender to me, probably why I’m so hyper feminine in my presentation because I’m completely uncomfortable with masculinity to the point of having few masculine aspects of my life”
Christie smiles, as having the group joined together in peaceful conversation is a rare occurrence. “As a cis white man, the struggles of this group are kinda wild to me haha. But it’s so interesting to hear each of you guys’s points of view!”
Bridgette whips her neck around, facing in Christie’s direction. “Cis white guy? Oh honey, I’d love to take a ride on your disco stick!”
“Oh my God, Bridgette, you can’t just thirst over someone just because they’re white.” Mandala intervenes. “Besides she’s probably as big of a bottom as the rest of us.”
“Actually I prefer topping.” Christie says. At this point, everyone’s head has turned. Creolla started fanning herself to stave off the sweating.
“Well… I guess we can all relate to the fact that we all want a DICK in our MOUTHS!” Mandala exclaims.
“WE ALL WANT A DICK IN OUR MOUTH TOOOO!” The room chants, laughing hysterically.
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“Are you sure?” Mayday asks with a concerned expression, standing right outside the filming lot.
“Losing you would really feel terrible. I mean, you’ve come so far already!” Bianca says.
“Yes, I’m sure…” Starry replies with a shaky voice. “It’s what I have to do. Coming to this competition I left a lot of things undone at home that really need my attention, and I realize now that continuing like this is not sustainable. I really regret not being able to be in two places at once, but alas…”
“It’s alright, we understand.” Mayday says, patting her shoulder. “It’s been an honor and a pleasure having you.”
“Now come here!” Bianca pulls them all in for a group hug. Starry wipes away the last of her tears as she drags her luggage away, waving goodbye to the filming crew, the hosts, and the now top 4 queens…
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The hosts walk out onto the mainstage in full red carpet regalia, met with the applause from the live studio audience brought in for the special occasion.
“Greetings, greetings, and welcome to the first every annual S.H.A.D.E. Awards!” Mayday begins.
“In order to start the show, we would normally have a little bit prepared for you…” Bianca begins. “But after overspending on this lovely architectural masterpiece” She points to a set of stairs set up next to the stage to allow for easy entrance and exiting from where the queens are sitting in the crowd, completely covered in stones and sparkle. “The budget wasn’t quite enough to cover the fees of the script writers.
“So without further ado” Mayday continues. “Let’s welcome on stage, the presenter of the first award of the night, Miss Christie Hannity!”
*Christie steps onto the stage in a luxurious long sleeved evening gown that flows in a shapeless line silhouette with an off the shoulder neckline. The gown wraps her shoulders and cascades down to the floor. The cuffs of the sleeves and the neckline are lined with a shining yellow tulle fabric, and the gown itself is a bright turquoise. The midsection is accented with a yellow band of fabric wrapped around the waist, and there is a yellow diamond brooch on her chest, a leftover repurposed from her Garish Glamor runway. She is holding a large envelope covered in glitter.
Her hair is a dark brown Marseille wave swept to one side which cascades down to her chest. Her face is done in a vintage style, with a vibrant red lip, eyeliner that curves up and away from her nose, and a touch of highlighter to give her face a glow like she’s in the spotlight of a black and white film.*
“This first award is presented to Mandala Karma for Procrastination. In honor of the recipient, I’m going to wait until the last possible second to hand her this award. She opens the envelope and pretends to read
Mandala, you truly are the most worthy applicant for this type of award. Week after week, you never fail to keep us on the edge of our seats waiting for your runway and “performance”. I speak on behalf of all the girls here when I say it truly is the highlight of our week when you finally cross the finish line. Watching you pull through has all the excitement of watching a three legged horse at the racetrack. Your eastern flair for drama and fashion always spices up our lives and wakes us up….even if you are the reason we fell asleep in the first place waiting for you. Some say your procrastination comes from the fact that you are very forgetful. And there is some merit to this, you lose things all the time, like your makeup kit or the fire you had in your eyes for the first half of this competition. I however think there is another reason, what I call the “fashionably late excuse”; you make us wait so that the eyes of the world are on you. Leave it to a “frontrunner” to make low effort rushing an art form. But all that aside, it cannot be said that you are not a fierce queen. No matter what you keep us waiting….and waiting………….and waiting,..................................................and waiting for, you always push through. Yup, push straight through She moves her hand upwards, then quickly downwards, like a bar graph rising and then suddenly plummeting no matter where that takes you.
But in all seriousness, Mandala, you deserve this award, if for no other reason than the fact that you put together so many memorable performances at the last possible minute. This prestigious award, only given to the most dedicated procrastinators, is rightfully yours. And now, here to read an acceptance speech she probably wrote on her palm as I was speaking, the luscious Mandala Karma!”
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Mandala’s red carpet look is a sleeveless, white, strapless gown made of a sleek, wrinkle-free fabric. The neckline slightly domes as it cups the sides of her breasts, only to dive into a V-shape over her cleavage. It is long enough to reach the floor and then some, creating a nice wide silhouette at the bottom without pooling too much. Over the gown she wears a black overdress, following the same shape as the gown but in an undersized version so that the gown shows along the edges of the fabric. The overdress is tied with a rosette just above her right hip and the “slit” created as the ends of the garment meet run diagonally from the “V” of her neckline to the hip and then across to the left, overlapping at the top and showing off the gown towards the bottom. The hemlines of the overdress are lined with delicate black jewels, positioned in the shapes of small flowers that glimmer discreetly in the lights. Her makeup is classic red carpet with slightly smoked out eyes and a velveteen red lip. Her black hair is in a wedding-style up do, with one curled wisp of hair hanging down the side of her face.
As Christie and the audience claps after having the award announced, Mandala takes her time before getting up on stage. The applause has already died down awkwardly as she slowly moseys her way up the make shift stairs set up next to the runway. She puts her hand on Christie’s shoulder and kisses her on the cheeks, still moving at a snail’s pace. She gets up behind the podium, clears her throat, and shuffles through her notes a couple times. She scans the audience with her eyes, and leans forward to the mic…
“…Thank you.” She says with emphasis, smiling. “I am truly honored to accept this award for procrastination, one of life’s greatest pleasures.” She takes another pause, sucking on her teeth. “Yes, it is true, I tend to wait until last minute to come up with my material, and it has happened once or twice that my waiting has exceeded the due-date. But you know how the saying goes: Better to never have submitted at all than to submit whatever Hettie concocted from under her mattress in the drug den and calling it my own!” She lets out a little laugh as if what she had just said was heartwarming, and continues speaking with fake sincerity.
“I am so happy to have this award handed to me by none other than Christie Hannity. You know, we actually have a lot in common. Much like how I wait a long time before writing my submissions, Christie waited a long time before writing a submission that was worthwhile. But look at her now!” Mandala smiles as she reaches her arm out towards Christie to show her off. But, she pretty quickly retracts it with a concerned expression, clearing her throat. “…Actually, never mind, you might not want to do that. I might be fashionably late, but Christie’s sense of fashion is so late that it hasn’t even showed up yet.” She laughs again. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Just like how the judges are kidding when they’re telling you that you still have a chance of winning. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you all!”
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“But speaking of jokes, it is an even greater honor to be able to present this next award to one of my dearest sisters. One of my fondest and earliest memories of her, in fact I don’t really remember much about her before this as her only claim to relevancy was the unoriginal and unimaginative glorification of a dead white hag, was when she started an unprovoked flame war with our sister Seraphina. It was then that I came to the realization that I truly had competition in this competition. Of course, not for the crown as she had yet to deliver anything more outstanding than milquetoast (funnily enough, a portmanteau of two things almost as basic as herself), but for the title of Miss Bitch. But that is not why we have gathered here today.”
“The reasons for presenting her with this award are plenty. For one, she is about as easy to trigger as it is to send Trump into a Twitter rampage, and I’m pretty sure they have the same wig provider. Much like him her “all bark, no bite” attitude will try to keep you oppressed, but as I’m sure her sour attitude is probably just caused by some trauma that she keeps repressed. Her lack of real talent is enough to make you equally as depressed as herself, and her fashion choices will always leave you unimpressed. As a whole, she’s about as pressed as the Panini I imagine her white ass eats every morning before a long day of unfulfilling Grindr hookups and self-loathing. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for “Miss Pressed 2018”, Bridgette Antoinette!”
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*The silhouette of Bridgette’s runway this week is hourglass. Her hair is a sleek, tidy bun, but around the bun is a spiked headpiece. The A-Line dress flares out slightly at the bottom, but clings to her body everywhere else. Flowing behind her as a cape is a thin, sheer lace veil, trailing behind her.
Starting at the top of her runway, Bridgette is wearing a dirty blonde wig. Her wig is slicked back into a tight, relatively small bun at the back of her head. Around the bun is a headpiece that comes out in golden pins, making her look saintly. Each pin is jeweled at the end with either a dark ruby or dark emerald gem. For her makeup, Bridgette’s are a dark maroon/burgundy colour (essentially a very rich, dark, sexy red). Her eye makeup is smoky and smoldering and her 301 lashes have been layered on top of each other to look as dramatic as the makeup. Her lips are the Secretly shade from Hourglass Confession, but made shinier and glossier. Her brows are quite dark and straight-shaped to emphasise the drama of her face.
Moving down, Bridgette is wearing a gold-plated choker around her neck that has small red jewels dangling from the bottom of it, laying along her collar bones, shoulders and back. Bridgette is wearing a dark ruby red gown. The neckline is off the shoulder, which goes into a low cut at the back. The front panel of the dress is embellished with millions of red, green and golden beads and sequins and has a brocade pattern embroidered over it. From the low neckline, she has long, tight sleeves, made from velvet like the rest of the material of the dress. She is wearing stiletto nails in a golden, metallic shade and has a ruby ring on one of her fingers. At her waistline, the golden embroidery cuts off to accentuate her hourglass figure and end the sheerness of the front panel. From there below is the bottom of the velvet dress, a matching ruby red colour as the top. The skirt of the dress clings to Bridgette and flares out at the bottom. The dress has sheer skirt inserts, on each leg, so Bridgette can tease a little bit of skin. To keep the gown more respectable and modest, however, Bridgette has a cape attached at the off the shoulder neckline with two emerald, gold lined, brooches. The cape is a matching red velvet with a brocade embroidery in gold that trails behind her slightly. For her shoe, Bridgette is wearing a pump with a pin-heel in gold, embellished with red and green jewels.
CONFESSIONAL: My red carpet look this week is very red carpet comes to life, honey! I’m kidding, but I was going for Lisa Fonssagrives dons her finest Dolce & Gabbana gown and goes to the Met Gala. The look is conceptual, bitch, it’s stunning. I’m serving Golden Girl meets Lady in Red meets Emerald City Citizen and everyone wants to mine this gemstone, baby.*
When she is announced as a nominee, the camera on Bridgette zooms into her face as she sits there not entirely aware of what’s going on. “The winner is… Bridgette Antoinette!” Bridgette acts campily shocked, fanning her face as she tears up and squeals to the queen next to her. She walks up to the stage and snatches the award from Mandala’s hands. “Thank you so much!” Bridgette says tearily, “I’m sure you all know how much I love being recognised for my hard work, especially from my little outburst from last week,” she giggles coyly, “and you best believe these wigs are pressed, henny!” She beams, holding the trophy up proudly, but a crew member leans over into her ear. “What do mean that’s not what it means?” Bridgette says looking confused and staring into the distance. “Irritable? Stressed?!” Bridgette starts shouting, “I am NOT irritable or stressed! F**k you, Mandala!” She shouts, throwing the trophy into the crowd and then dragged off the stage by security.
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Bridgette enters the runway entrance and shimmies down the runway in her elegant garment, smiling and waving to the audience. She reaches the podium and giggles, “Haha! Sorry about that, I’m just so normally calm and collected I was shocked!” She laughs melodically, holding her hand on her chest. “So, I’m proud to present, after some blackmail from our lovely judges, the Get Her Off award!” Bridgette exclaims dramatically, stretching out her arms. “I know what you’re thinking” Bridgette states, looking at the audience, “no one wants to get these queens off!” She says, winking. “But that’s not what this award is for, it’s actually for those runways we just wish we never saw,” she tilts her head obviously to Creolla and eyes her up and down. “Now I know I won’t be winning this one, my worst runway was my chameleon look and the way the lights reflected off the sequins made me look almost invisible… So you couldn’t… see it…” She trails off looking distressed. Changing back to her professional and sweet expression, Bridgette flings her head to the centre again. “Anyway, I’m proud and glad to present this award to none other than Creolla Azzedine!” Bridgette exclaims more cheerfully now, a devilish grin on her face. “She has been nominated for every single runway she has ever worn!” Bridgette grins. “Now after winning this, you’ll start getting that beard contour off your face!” As Creolla comes up to collect her award, Bridgette smirks in relief at Creolla, a feeling of mission accomplished bumping in her heart. She gives Creolla little nod and smirk as she gives her the trophy, before whispering, “You’re right, there is only one winner this time.” She laughs comically at the audience and walks off the stage.
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*Creolla wears a dress made of multiple single threads with a mix of different materials like pearls, shells, “búzios” and “contas” (that are popular Brazilian materials used to make typical jewels) with crystals. Two single straps follow down her shoulders until reaching her bare chest, where the dress cascades onto her curvy body as she walks. When she turns, her back is entirely visible as the dress has a big cut that ends at the beginning of her ass, showing just enough body. The dress is tight and hugs her voluptuous body, accentuating her waist and hips. The bottom splices in two parts as her knee begin, showing her legs and nude heels.
Her mug is very soft, with brown glossy lips and eyelids, with touches of gold on the inner corners and on the lips. Her earrings are two beautiful river pearls falling from golden strings and she has a beautiful big tiger eye encrusted ring. Her wig is a big dark brown afro, laid back in the front and parted in two, covering her torso. Her hair itself has some rocks in it as she wears a tiara entirely made with búzios and a few beads and crystals to give it some extra shimmer. Her skin is dark brown and shines with the natural use of coconut oil on her legs and arms.*
The camera doesn’t catch Creolla’s face when she is announced the winner since she, somehow, quickly stood up in that dress, with both her wrists in the air, as she screams in excitement. She goes up on stage, to receive her award and hugs Bridgette, that whispers in her ears the shady words that she pays back leaving a red lipstick stain on Bridgette’s mug, smiling. She holds the mic up high before cheerfully saying “I win every time!” while lifting her trophy.
She calms down a little bit to continue her acceptance speech as she is a little breathless, a very mellow voice starting as she goes, admiring her award and then looking up, with a very inspired face. “I have to say…. The struggle is real… Uff… Don’t give up. Ever. I am here and I hope this really inspire all the other black Brazilian LGBT kids out there. One day you will win something and be just like me. Or close. I mean, something! Anything! You can do it! Just... win it! “Good night, fellas! It’s me, Creolla Azzedine! I know y’all paid your tickets today just to see me. Yes, thank you to all the 3 family members cheering up at the back and my dear friend, Mandala. You all look terrible and it makes me shine so much more! BUT this is not about me tonight. It’s about another strong leader with great talent and good eye for fashion. It’s not me, stop, I swear! We gather tonight at S.H.A.D.E. Awards and we have the honour to receive and to prestige such a talent.
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I am here to announce the winner of the Silent Queen Award. And this person is what I like to call, the Minnesota Strike. Not because she has killed the competition, which she doesn’t since her only glorious moment was in episode one, when the judges didn’t know anyone’s personality. Now they realise she has no personality at all to judge. But because that’s a dark obscure reference that probably only she will understand. I think you already know who I am talking about! I proudly present the winner of the Silent Queen Award, Starry Wisdom! Come up on here, girl. We are both Aries, y’all! I don’t know Starry that well but nobody does anyway. But I know an award she should win. The Whorest Cult Leader Award. If you need an example, let’s talk about how she managed to be a slut through and through the season. I mean, in a cast with Hettie and Mandala, which are both, almost a risk to the public health given how many STD’s they both carry, Starry persevered in being a whore for the cult community. Doesn’t matter the theme, Starry will try to stick her “kinkyness” in it harder than the dildo she carries in herself all the time.. And she may get even more fucked since she is the “Ravin” of the season. Of both seasons she won’t win. At least you won this. Do you wanna say anything? No? You know you gotta give a speech but you are so quiet… Come get your quiet award. She will speak something in Loreyals or something anyways, so… smile!
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RIP Starry Wisdom
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“Thank you Lady Cth-who?-lu for that wonderful introduction. I can’t wait to see you in the next season of American Horror Story playing whatever Ryan Murphy and white twinks think is scary.
It truly is an honor to be presented with the Red X Award for Outstanding Achievements in Bad Fashion. I have worked tirelessly in my pursuit of bad fashion. I don’t know why you gagging she….oh wait, yes I do, it was my episode 1 dress wasn’t it? It was truly blinding in its awfulness. But i persevered! They said “Oh she’ll get better” and i said “oh no bitch, this is here to stay!” I kept the momentum going with basic outfits with little to no details. When i did have details, they were written like a true student of fashion….a first semester student who dropped out faster than Aquaria but still!
I am so proud to be the recipient of this wonderful award, I will treasure it until the end of my career….which will likely be next week at the ball cuz my ass can’t sew. Thank you!”
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As Christie wraps up her acceptance speech, the queens all gather on stage to receive the collective applause of the audience. Then, it is cut to later, with the crowd gone as they are ready to receive critiques…
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“Alright ladies, as you can see, it’s just family tonight. So, let’s start with Christie Hannity. I have to say, stunning work this week! You had a lot on your plate, having to open and close the show and living up to your win in the mini challenge, but you really nailed it. Your quips were smart and short, in that perfect intersection where if you weren’t paying attention you wouldn’t catch them.”
“I agree, you’ve really got this comedy thing down now!” Bianca continues. “You read Mandala to filth, and your acceptance speech was also filled with tongue in cheek humor. This look on you also feels like a breath of fresh air, the color combination is so good on you!”
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“Moving on to Mandala Karma! Girl, you also hit it out of the park this week. While your delivery could’ve used some work, your material was all top notch. When you started rhyming on “pressed” for Bridgette’s award, I was like “Dr Seuss do have nerve!” And this ensemble is just gorgina. Such attention to detail without going overboard. Great job!”
“I agree, and it do take nerve! We were all pretty nervous if you were going to pull through, but you actually finished on time and with a great, irone-out product filled with iconic lines. Keep this momentum up, Mandala!”
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“Now, Bridgette… Sorry, you did not hit the target this week. You barely threw any shade in your acceptance speech, and it was barely humorous at all. Now, I thought the title of the award you presented to Creolla had potential, but in the end it fell short because you didn’t really go in on her at all.”
“Yeah, Bridgette, I don’t know if it’s because you’re nervous of being perceived as a bitch due to recent events, but you were all too mild for our tastes. There is of course a balance, since reading is not just about being mean, but at the same time it’s the one opportunity we have where all is fair game.”
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“And lastly, Creolla. Unfortunately I feel like this wasn’t one of your best weeks so far. I get what you were going for, playing off the acceptance speech like it was a nice award to receive, but it fell flat in that it felt a bit too generic and not shady enough which is what we asked for, although I did appreciate how you went in on Bridgette saying she deserved it more than you. That was being back-handed and smart. Your presentation also had pretty funny digs at Starry, but the confusion surrounding what award you were going to present deducts a few points in our eyes.”
“Creolla, Creolla, Creolla… You know, we’ve really come to expect greatness from you, and that is not what we got this week. It was, at most, ok. But at this point in the game you have to keep outdoing yourself or other bitches will run you over. Like Bridgette, you had a problem with not going deep enough and delivering reads that had us shaking in our seats. It was lacking that ‘wow’ factor of something truly shady.”
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“As I’m sure y’all understand, the divide this week is no mystery. So, let’s start with the good news. Christie Hannity, your speeches left the judges speechless, and almost afraid to cross you. Mandala Karma, you had us filing an international search warrant for our wigs that you snatched.
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“Mandala Karma…”
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”You are SAFE.”
“And that means Christie Hannity, condragulations! You are the winner of this week’s challenge! you both may step to the back of the stage.”
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“Bridgette Antoinette, the tea you were serving was as cold as the body of your namesake…”
“Creolla Azzedine, your reads made us question Brazil’s educational system…”
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“I’m sorry my girls, but you two are the bottom two this week.”
“Ladies, prior to tonight you were asked to prepare a lip sync performance to Biscuits by Kacey Musgraves. Now, the time has come…”
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“For you to lip sync…”
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“For your safety.”
The girls look around, confused.
“We can’t pretend to have the intention of sending either of you home this week, considering how the eliminations in this competition have gone down as of late. Instead, we’re giving you two another type of second chance.”
“The one of you that wins this lip sync will, instead of being saved from elimination, have your bottom two placement this week revoked, and instead marked as safe. For your average score and credentials towards the crown, this will of course have a huge impact, so don’t go thinking you can “play it safe”.
“Now good luck, and don’t fuck it up!”
Submitted July 29, 2018 at 02:23AM by yeshenny https://ift.tt/2Lxfts3
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