There is immense silence on stage. The girls stand, horrified. Angelique, slowly but cautiously walks back on stage. The host sits, mouth wide, amazed and befuddled by Caprice's performance. Slowly, everyone claps and cheers at Caprice, and she stands proud, smirking.
The host, after a while of clapping, finally utters, "That was jaw-dropping, Caprice, absolutely astonishing... However, I did ask for a lipsync to Blondie, not a work of art, so therefore you have failed to meet the brief. My goddess, this show is not enough for you. Now, sashay away."
Caprice is shocked, but understanding. She blows a kiss to the judges, hugs Angie and walks off-stage. Before she leaves, she proclaims, "This juicy bitch will never dry up!"
...
“I'm... very confused by the reason I'm here. Apparently, a sickening look with an amazing performance means I go home first? But they told me I'm too good for this competition and I agree. So, fuck 'em. I hope no one wins, I hope this show is cancelled and I hope the host dies. But no, I'm not bitter!” she says, holding her tweeterhead trophy.
...
“Ladies, you’ve survived the first challenge. Condragulations, bitches! Now, remember if you can’t love yourself, how are you gonna stalk somebody else! Can I get an ‘oh wow’ up in here?” the host proclaims.
“Oh wow,” the girls oblige in saying, looking at each other with unsure faces.
“Alright, now let the music play!” the music plays as all the girls dance onto the runway before going backstage.
...
“Oh, Caprice,” Angelique says as she enters the werkroom, the other girls following shortly behind her
The girls enter the werkroom to find not a lipstick message, but the middle mirror smashed into pieces. Caprice's broken staff is also found by the crime scene, as a producer informs the girls that Caprice has had to be arrested and removed from the site. The girls remain unphased.
"At least, I don't get to clean anything up, right?" Angelique quips. Right after that, a producer pops into frame and whispers something into Angie's ear. "I do? Well, fuck me, right?"
A hand pops into frame, handing Angelique a broom. She starts sweeping up the mirror shards as the other girls sit on the couch.
“Condragulations, Annie!” Anita says, patting Annie on the back. “You did great this challenge; I think I did better, but whatever, I guess.”
The girls all guffaw and laugh at Anita, with the exception of Bianca, who seems to be taking those critiques to heart.
BIANCA: What Anita said? That shit hurts real deep. The fact that Anita and Annie were considered for the win and I was basically middling is kind of… a weird sensation. I hoped that I would kill this challenge like the Chinese Zodiac challenge on Season 2 but I guess I just have to work harder.
As the girls all prepare to untuck and dedrags, Annie, who notices Bianca’s solemnity, approaches her. “How are you feeling, girl?” Annie asks.
“I’m good,” Bianca says. “It’s just that… I feel like I’ve knocked down a peg, you know?” Annie hugs Bianca at this statement, feeling for her friend. “I didn’t ask for a hug but okay. Werk,” she jokes before they both laugh.
Nearby Angelique and Anita both notice, looking at each other with a smirk.
ANITA: So, Bianca’s bitter or sad about not being in the top this challenge, and I’m over here like: well, who’s problem is that, sister? Not the judges; you put in the work and they give you the according merit. Tingkatkan puki kau. Level your pussy up, sweetie.
Just as the girls prepare to dedrag, they hear a soft clinking. The girls head whip around to look at the entrance, where a cart rolls in, managed by the Pit Crew, on top of which are cupcakes, drinks, etc.
“Oh, shit!” Ruby says. “Food, y’all! Time to stop that two-week carb-free diet!”
“Of course the Derrick Barry of the season would say that,,” Angelique quips, as they all approach the cart and eat the cupcakes., much to Ruby’s chagrin.
RUBY: I’ve been the receiver of many a-shade in the past but I’m kind of getting sick of it. I really wanna show to these girls that I am an undiscovered superstar. Valentina, stop shaking.
“What do you think the girls next episode will be like?” Ruby asks.
“Well, Korn’s gonna be there. So is Fantasia,” Bianca says. “Chrystal—”
“No, ma’am. Fuck that!” Angelique says. “Also Futura is gonna be there. Maybe Tish and Obeseia.”
“Oh god, imagine if Alex were there. 3 hosts in one season,” Annie says.
“Alex back? Can you imagine such a thing?” Bianca says, in her best BenDeLaCreme as Maggie Smith, before they all laugh.
As they all laugh, they hear various noises (breaking glass, metal clanging), whipping their heads to find where they’re coming from, before the lights flicker and shut down completely.
The TV turns on, the screen distorted. “Time to meet your match, ladies,” it’s the host’s voice but distorted and broken, before turning off. The ladies all scream before—
---
TWO DAYS LATER
---
Alex and Marianna both gave their all in the lip sync. Alex took everyone to church while Marianna took her critiques to heart and gave a performance that the not-present Sonya will never forget.
“Ladies, I have made my decision,” the host says.
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“Alex, shantay, you stay,” she says. “You may join the other girls.”
Alex grabs her chest, breathing heavily before thanking the judge and going to the back, hugging her fellow queens.
“Marianna, you're perfect, you're beautiful, you look like Nina Bonina Brown. Get out of your head - this just may not have been your season. But for now - sashay away,” the host says, nodding at her.
Marianna just shrugs and then heads over to the entrance.
“See ya'll behind the mirror, sluts,” she says, before leaving the main stage.
...
Marianna holds the tweeterhead proudly, looking straight into the camera. “Quoting the greatest, "I'm feeling entertained, amused. The judges are interested, their judging was interesting" If I knew that I was supposed to literally walk out without doing literally anything I woulda done that, but, okay, I guess, what's done is done.
...
“Ladies, condragulations! Welcome to the Top 9! Remember if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna fight somebody else! Can I get an 'oh wow' up in here?"
"Oh wow," they all cheer in unison.
"Alright, let the music play!" the host says, music blasting over the brand new speakers as the girls dance onto the stage before leaving.
...
"Marianna? First out again? I could believe it," Korn says, upon entering the werkroom, the others following shortly.
They take a look at Mari's message in the mirror: "Guess who's an early out again? ME BITCH. Alex and Fanta better slay! Sonya is trash tbh. TEAM ALEX AND FANTASIA #JusticeForMarianna xoxoxo Марианна Игоревна Преснецова, but you can call me Mary."
Alex grabs a nearby sponge and cleans the message off. "In the name of Monet X Change, we bid good bye to Marianna."
"Werk, Mari!" Tish says.
TISH: Oh my god. Not only did I make it to the third week, I got a high placement on the way. Ready your tickets cause the Tish Train is leaving the station, baby. Ah choo choo.
They all sit on the couch, before talking about the events that had just transpired. "Well, that was a thing," Fantasia says. "I'm glad Marianna didn't quit in lip syncing. It was close between the both of you and Alex, you should be proud."
"Thanks, Fanta!" Alex says, lending her a hand to shake hers.
"Both lip syncs had their detractors but I mostly agree. The lip sync was tight," Korn says.
"That's cool," Alex says. "Don't care, but cool."
Korn's eyes widen before looking at Alex. "You know I wasn't, like, trying to hurt your feelings, right? I'm not trying to be bitchy. It's just my opinion."
"And like I said, nice opinion," Alex replies. "But please don't tell me when I never asked that you thought my lip sync was bad."
"I didn't say it was bad though," Korn says, adjusting herself. "I thought both of you were great; you and Mari were solid—"
"You know, I can tell everyone what problems I have with their performance, but I don't. Because I am what? Polite. And to be honest, so should you. I would never tell you after a lip sync that I had problems with it. I hope you know that." Alex gets off the couch and struts to her station, preparing to dedrag.
"Okay, Alex, I guess I'll remember that," Korn says, feeling awkward in the moment.
KORN: Hm. This is weird; I guess alex just isn’t used to this, because on Season 3, there was plenty of people giving constructive criticism. I feel like it’s important to get criticism from your peers. Like, honestly, don't you want to improv?
"Well," Fanta starts. "Condragulations, Korn, I guess!" she claps, Tish joining in. "You deserve it, girl. But can we talk about how I wasn't in the bottom? Like thank you, lord—"
Korn hits Fanta's leg. "Fanta," she whispers, looking at her and then at Alex. "Don't."
There's an awkward silence. "OH. Okay, I got it," Fanta says out loud.
"Why don't we dedrag, girls?" Tish says. "These motherboards are a motherfucker," she says prompting them all to laugh.
As they are all situated in front of the mirror, Fanta notices something. "Alex, I think you missed a spot," rubbing a red spot of lip stick Alex had seemed to miss. "That's weird."
"What is?" Alex says, walking over.
"My finger and the reflection of my finger are touching when they shouldn't. Regular mirrors have a gap between you and your reflections," Fanta says.
"You awfully know a lot about mirrors," Tish quips. "What does this all mean?" she wails sarcastically.
"When you and your reflection do't have a gap, that means the mirror is—"
Their reflections in the mirror disappear, the images of the girls from episode one appearing.
"—two-way," Fanta finishes.
Korn screams her lungs out before the episode one girls disappear and their reflections appear again.
"That's just fucked up, man," Tish says.
...
One by one, all the girls from episode one walk in, adorned in their episode one garments.
The girls all kiki with each other. Bianca hugs Korn and Fantasia, Annie and Angelique make out in the corner, Tish makes friends with her new sisters Ruby and Anita, all the while this is happening, Alex is continuing to dedrag.
"Um," Bianca's voice is small. "Is that—"
"Yes, it is," Korn shushes her. "But now, we need to shut up about it—"
"Holy shit, is that Alex?" Angelique announces loudly.
"Oh, hey, y'all!" Alex turns around and greets her new sisters.
ALEX: I know these girls feel weird about me being here. But I know in my heart that I will fight for my place here, no matter what these bitches say. I was Proud Mary, goddamnit!
"So, Alex," Bianca starts. "I have a few questions. First, how? Second, why? You weren't on the first season; you hosted!"
"Well, I fought tooth and nail to be here. I hosted Season 1 while actually being on it; I WAS Proud Mary," Alex confesses.
"Oh wow," the girls from episode 1 croon. "Okay, Miss Double Life. Werk," Anita says.
ANITA: Alex was our very dear host from Season 1 and this news that she's actually Proud Mary surprises me. What doesn't surprise me is that she'll be long gone before I snatch the Season 1 crown. From first out to winner, RuDemptions storylines are shaking!
---
"Winner winner chicken dinner!" Annie and Korn say, arm in arm as they enter the werkroom.
ANGELIQUE: It's a new day in the werkroom and I am very confident that whatever this new challenge is, I will murder it like I will murder... What are things that get murdered?
As the girls all banter with each other, Korn puts Alex aside to talk about last night's events.
"Hey, Alex," Korn says. "I just want to say that whatever happened last night, it was my opinion and that I never meant to hurt you."
"Korn, I don't know what to say," Alex replies. "I have supported you and your lip syncs in the past and never once did I tell you I had problems with it immediately after. What you said last night, it hurt."
Korn rubs the back of her head. "I just say a lot of things without thinking. I think that's been made pretty clear. Are we good now?" she holds her hand out for a fist bump.
"It's all good, Korn," Alex swats her hand away. "You're my sister and I support you in the competition.
"I support you too," Korn gives a smile to Alex—
"I support both of you too," Fanta interrupts. "Just saying, I liked Alex's lip sync. Just saying."
They return to the girls just as—
...
"SHEDONEALREADYDONEHADHERSES!ohwow"
The girls gather around the screen for their next challenge announcement.
The host is in front of a black screen, thunder rolling in the background. "Surprise, bitch! I've been dying for you two groups to meet; I've been going insane! But now that you have, get ready for a total circus, sweetie cause we're about messy! For some of you girls, take time to indulge in where you are, cause you won't have that much time left. Enjoy your stay!"
Bianca screams as the video finishes. "I cannot believe it!" she screeches, falling to the floor
"I know, right?" Anita joins her. "I'm a big fan of Glee too!"
“Hello, hello, hello!” says the host, entering through the doors.
“Look at my fabulous Top 9," she says. "I don't mean to get sentimental but can we have just a moment of silence to thank divine intervention that we are all HERE in the werkroom and that S1 is actually happening? This is not a thing we all thought would happen but here we are. Let's be silent in 3, 2, 1."
The girls all close their eyes as they remain silent—
The host screams, the girls covering their ears at the sound.
TISH: What the fuck was that?
“Oops," the host says. "I just remembered something from the new season of American Horror Story! it's one of my favorite shows of all time, ladies."
FANTASIA: I've heard of American Horror Story but I haven't watched it. If I was safe last week, only to be eliminated now? Hopefully the cards aren't stacked against me.
"I'd tell you to watch it, but I won't!" the host says. "You know why?"
ANITA: Please tell me it's an acting challenge. Please tell me it's an acting challenge. Please tell me it's an acting challenge.
"Because for this week's Maxi Challenge, you'll be living in it!"
Bianca and Anita hold each other at the news.
“You will be writing and starring in your own own draggified parodies of American Horror Story season! #DragQueenHorrorStories!"
BIANCA: Werk! I love American Horror Story and I am a great actress, so I believe I can redeem myself from safedom and snatch a win. I have it in the bag!
"This is a team challenge, and Korn and Annie, since you've won the first two challenges, you'll be choosing the teams! Korn, you go first!"
"I choose Bianca obviously," Korn says.
"Gotta go with Anita!" Annie says.
They continue until the teams are: Korn, Bianca, Angelique, Tish, and Ruby, and Annie, Anita, Fantasia and Alex.
RUBY: I was almost picked last; I expected it but it still doesn't feel good, so I hope to show myself as a true competitor this week. I am an undiscovered superstar.
"Well, these are our teams, right? Wrong!" the host says, the teams now suddenly clutching each other. "I'll have to throw a wrench into your plans, ladies! Korn, Annie, switch!"
KORN: 9-1-1, yes. This is a mess I did not consent too.
Korn and Annie reluctantly join the other group's teams. The official teams are now: Annie, Bianca, Angelique, Tish, and Ruby, and Korn, Anita, Fantasia, and Alex.
"Now, you will write your own script, design a maximum of 3 sets that you can use, and act in them. You can use the Pit Crew as additional actors but they should have limited dialogue," the host explains. "For the seasons you will parody, you have been randomly assigned them. Team Korn, you will be parodying Murder House! Team Annie, you will be parodying Coven! And none for Asylum!"
"And for your first runway, category is... Why It Gotta Be Black Realness! Are you a Cherilyn or a a Morticia? I wanna see your inner darkness on the outside, ladies! Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman, win!”
---
TL;DR:
Write and act in draggified parodies of American Horror Story seasons in teams of two: Team Coven: comprised of Annie, Bianca, Angelique, Tish, and Ruby, and Team Murder House, comprised of Kornucopia, Anita, Fantasia and Alex,. Refer to the announcement chat for more details. Runway category is Why It Gotta Be Black Realness, a look that is predominantly the color black. Team leaders (Annie and Korn) , you will submit your team's scripts to u/itscrimsonbaby. Deadline is June 29, 11 AM CST.
Submitted June 27, 2018 at 07:25PM by itscrimsonbaby https://ift.tt/2tuKq59
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