I was the one who decided to divorce. Over the course of a year, her actions drained our savings, made us homeless, and drove me to the brink of ending it all. It took me 14 months of going from happy, a baby on the way, hopeful about the future to walking into a courthouse ready to end it.
The divorce took a year. She claimed to want to work things out, wanted us to sort through the damage. But in the end, she wanted money. She didn't want to work, that's the whole thing that drove us apart. We had agreed we would both work, it was the only way to have a kid. And when the time came, she quit her job the day she found out she was pregnant and remained unemployed for a year. No kid yet, she just didn't want to work anymore.
In 14 months, she drained 30,000 in savings. She got us kicked out of her own parents house. She travelled, by air, almost once a month for multiple month volunteer singing gigs to fund her narcissism. All paid for by our savings and the work I was still doing.
Before we got married, I got a windfall from my father's death. After we got married, I paid off 10k in her credit card debt, I bought us a car, and I put a huge chunk of it towards moving expenses cuz she wanted to live near her dad, who I now know is a convicted pedophile. Didn't have a second thought because she was my wife.
Once the divorce started, it was all about me never having my son and her getting compensation for our marital assets. The car I bought? She now wanted one too and wanted me to pay for it. The credit card debt I paid off? Refused to acknowledge it, it was just something I was supposed to do as her husband. The five-figure retirement fund I'd grown myself because she wanted all her money to go towards "her art" instead of savings? Well, now that I was keeping it she needed compensation.
The biggest joke of it all, I wanted more time with my son but that meant less child support for her, so she fought tooth and nail (part of which included kidnapping my son for the first six months to create grounds for majority custody cuz of bonding). I paid her just under a grand a month to care for our son, even with no divorce decree in place. I knew she wasn't working and my son needed to eat. In the end, I got a gradual step up to 50/50 custody in a year, but she'll get about $4k in the process.
Once the papers were signed and the decree filed, it all came to me paying her about 13,000 in addition to child support. I managed to avoid any alimony because of her just quitting her job, but all the assets and security I had built for our future came back to bite me in the ass. Just for the right to leave her. I laughed when I saw the number. She had ruined our son's future, destroyed our relationship, and now to get out and give my son a better life, I was going to pay her.
About half of my pay every month goes to her. I'm eating ramen noodles. I'm sitting at home more than ever before. My couple luxuries are my gym membership (which I only afford cuz my work pays for half of it) and the occasional $10 concert ticket to go see some music, my true happy place. I live with my mother because I can't afford even the dingiest of rentals, she is the only reason I can afford to raise my son right now. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs from lawyers fees and an attempt to go back to school for a higher paying job.
But he has a beautiful crib with a comfortable mattress and warm blanket. He snuggles with the toy rhino I bought him from the hospital gift store. He has delicious food at every meal and snacks to munch on. He has toys to play with and an awesome kid's tool kit coming for Christmas. He goes to an amazing daycare every week now that my ex is forced to work to support herself. I'm getting training to enter a higher paying job that will take care of everything in his future. I've met a wonderful new partner with a kid of her own and we love each other because of our shared devotion to a better life for our kids. In a year, I'll have my son 50/50 and our relationship will blossom.
I'm broke, I'm struggling, I'm anxious, and I'm scared. But I wouldn't trade it for anything because I know in the end, it'll all be okay. My son will be an amazing man.
tl;dr I had to pay for the right to leave my wife and give a better life to my son. I'm broke, living with my mother, and just scraping by. But my son is happy and that's all I need. Life is gonna be grand.
Submitted December 13, 2019 at 08:16PM by mysecrettales https://ift.tt/2rzzfKQ
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