Recap & Budget Breakdown / Small Upstate NY Weekend Wedding / 31 guests, 25k budget

I found these breakdowns SO HELPFUL in my planning, and couldn’t wait to write my own. Here it is, with photos linked where appropriate!! It is so long, though, so I apologize in advance.

SUMMARY
Wedding date: September 13-15, 2019
Wedding location: Private vacation rental in the northern Adirondacks (not a wedding venue)

Original budget: $25k
Actual spent: $21.5k
Parent contribution: ~$19k
We were very fortunate to have assistance from our families, and having that help basically meant we could have the wedding we dreamed of. The big ticket items were venue/dress/photography (my folks) and catering/alcohol/food costs (his folks). Both also contributed by picking up random things of their own accord, but I don’t have an accurate count of that.
Our contribution: ~$2k
We’re not wealthy, but we put our money into the things we thought were most important. We were very, very fortunate to have our families’ assistance, and it’s something we think about constantly. We were able to provide everything to our guests without asking them to pitch in funds for housing/activities/food for the whole weekend-- something that was super important to us, and that we were enormously fortunate to be able to do.

Vibe/Goals: We really loved the A Practical Wedding workbook, which helped us figure out what we wanted and— more importantly— didn’t want.

Our priorities were:

1) A beautiful place in nature (me) with no other people around (husband)
2) Friends and family happy and present (me), but only the friends and family I like (husband)
3) Organized and relaxed (me), Not the center of attention (husband)

Basically, we wanted to go on a vacation during which time we got married. We managed to meet every one of those goals— mostly thanks to the venue we chose. Things we nixed: wedding parties, fancy invites, dancing, DJ, videography, wedding rings, theme/colors/decor, a traditional engagement!

Ceremony: We aren’t religious or particularly ceremonial, so this was tricky. Planning the ceremony was one of the hardest parts of the process! Ultimately, we ended up with a Quaker-style hodgepodge that felt really really right:

• We “processed” in together, in a very casual way
• Introduced the concept of the ceremonyand welcomed everyone
• We each selected a surprise reading for each other. I read a poem, he read something he’d written for me.
• Opened the floor for family/guests to share (his dad started, my dad kept his eye on the clock to finish so we didn’t go too long)
• We wrote 5 promises to each other, which the efficient read and we “We Do”-ed to
• We canoed away!

Invited: 45 (including 4 B-list)
No kids, and no family besides our parents, siblings, and their SOs. Only people in relationships got plus ones. It was a destination wedding for everyone, but most people were from NYC, so a 5-6 hour drive.
RSVP’d yes: 33
Attended: 31

SCHEDULE

Wednesday: My folks & my husband and I drove upstate and stayed over at a hotel in town. We picked up wine from Total Wine on the way.

Thursday: My sister and I got our nails done, we ran some last-minute errands, then headed to camp around 2pm. My husband’s family met us there.

Friday: My parents ran errands (picking up flowers, dessert) while we finished setting up. Guests were asked to arrive after 3pm… no one showed up until like 7pm lol (most people got there after 10pm). Wish I’d been more clear that we wanted people there earlier, but, ya know. We had a cookout dinner with local salads, burgers, hot dogs, and watermelon.

Saturday:

• 9am It was chilly and windy, so I had a little cry and then got on with it. We had breakfast and then just hung out with friends in the main cabin (which was heated).
• 12PM: Our caterer brought bagged lunches we’d ordered, and helped us make a game plan for our windy day. We ate with family and friends, then I started the getting ready process with my sister. My husband swam in the lake (!), friends played tennis, the families got stressed out, then we all met together in the room where we got dressed to give small gifts to our siblings and have a moment with just family.
• 5PM: We watched through the window of the cabin as our family and friends headed to the ceremony site (our caterer passed out prosecco to the guests). At exactly 5pm, we took the walk down the path to our ceremony together. Our families and friends and caterer NAILED IT with the setup, surpassing my expectations for our Plan B setup. After the ceremony, we took a half-hour canoe on the lake before meeting back up with our friends and family in the main cabin.
• 9PM: We served dessert and had s’mores by the fire. Our friends are very musical, so a bunch of people jammed on the guitar, which was bomb. Our friends in the party cabin had people over later, but my husband and I went to bed around 1am.

Sunday: We got up early, but no one else did. We had a door decorating contest, and most people did their doors between 9am and 11am for our 11am judging. We put together a basket of ADK treats (maple syrup, candle, etc, mostly collected from the welcome basket at camp and stuff we’d held onto) as a prize. Most people left around 12pm, and we cleaned up until the last second at 2pm, our checkout time.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE WINDY

Good:

• Venue. It was a magical place, totally private, and it felt like we all had ownership over it. It felt like a vacation!
• Ceremony. I was nervous about this, but we did all the work to make it ours, and it actually was successful.
• Caterer. Our caterer was AMAZING. She not only organized some killer food and unbelievably good staff, but she also helped us make a better-than-plan-A plan B for the windy ceremony site. She event had the best idea of all— putting overflow guests in a rowboat for the ceremony. It was hysterical and unique and our friends loved it.
• Weekend. How on earth do people do less than this with more guests?! I loved spending time with our friends and family outside of the reception time.
• Pre-Wedding Party. Upon getting engaged, I asked my mother if she’d make me one commitment— to host a party in my hometown so that my grandmother, who was 95, could be more of a part of the wedding. We could invite our relatives from the West Coast who wouldn’t be invited to the main event, which we knew we were keeping very small. It wasn’t technically an engagement party— more of a pre-wedding event. I know these things can be super sticky, but pretty much everyone was understanding and enormously generous. EVERYONE WE INVITED CAME. It was bigger than our wedding, haha! My mom went above and beyond, and giving her this job helped keep some of her pressure off me, too :).

Bad:

• Family work. Our families really killed it with the organization and setting up… but if I could go back? It might have been worth having someone else, like a coordinator, around. I made lots of lists to try and ease the chaos, and like half the people read them. The difference between Friday and Saturday nights? Yeah… a coordinator would’ve been good.
• Grandma. My grandmother died the week of our pre-wedding party, and her funeral was scheduled for the day after the party. She was the original reason for the party, so it was bittersweet.

Windy:

OMG the wind. It was only 12mph but it was BRISK. This made it especially cold outside (and inside, as cabins weren’t heated), and meant we had to change our ceremony plans last minute. Ultimately, it was just one of those things that you can’t control and have to release into the world.

COSTS

Venue: $7,360

• Family Camp via VRBO (Thurs-Sun) - not providing the name since it’s not a venue and they don’t want to market it as such
  The location was the most important thing for us. We wanted to have a whole weekend for our friends, and make it easy for them to stay and play with us. As a vacation rental, it included almost everything except linens (about half of people brought their own; the other half we supplemented from my MIL’s stash and our own). We ended up with plenty of room for everybody, and everyone stayed on site. The largest issue was simply that only the main cabins were heated, and it was a chilly weekend. Most people were fine, and just bundled up, but I do wish we’d had a better game plan for the weather.

Food and Drinks: $7,330

• Friday dinner- ~$500
  We asked our dads to man the BBQ for a cookout this evening (they were champs, despite the wind that made being outside nightmarish). We bought 3 large vegan salads for around $80 each from a local company in Lake Placid (Green Goddess), which were delicious and kept it simple. Ultimately, this meal was a struggle as almost no one arrived on-time, so it was hard to know when to serve food, even though it was buffet-style. After dinner, we did an ice cream buffet.

• Saturday (& Sunday) Breakfast: ~$500
  We got local bagels and cream cheese, and also provided yogurt and local granola and fruit. My husband’s mom cooked up some egg casseroles for the morning after the wedding.

• Saturday Lunch: $370.06
  We had people fill out an order form a week early for personalized bag lunches through our catering company. They included a sandwich (4 options), a chip bag, 2 cookies, and a drink. They totally hit the spot and it meant we could all just hang and eat together. I loved getting that time with the guests before transitioning into getting ready in the afternoon.

• Saturday Dinner: $4,028 (including $400 for service)
  We picked one of the few catering companies in the area, and honestly could not have been happier. We wanted a tapas-style meal, with lots of appetizers and fresh, local flavors. It was AMAZING. Our budget for everything was under $100pp, and we managed that without feeling any pinch. The food was incredible, the service was impeccable (1 lead, 1 kebab griller, 2 servers, 1 bartender), and I will recommend this company up and down for the rest of eternity. Lakeview Deli in Saranac Lake (also recommend VanBee Co. for planning, though we didn’t use them, which are owned by the same person).

• Bar: $1,024
  We provided alcohol for two nights worth of drinking. We had assorted red/white/rose wine and assorted beers on Friday. We chose 1 prosecco, 1 white, 1 red, 1 IPA, 1 lager, and a signature cocktail for Saturday. The cocktail (a maple bourbon smash that my husband created) ended up being the biggest hit of the night, which I didn’t expect! We definitely overbought wine, but we bought from Total Wine, so we were able to return a case.

• Dinnerware: $211.35
  It was really challenging to do what we wanted to do, which was 1) keep everything simple and 2) be eco-friendly. After a lot of stress, we ended up buying palm leaf plates & silverware, and reusable plastic stemless wine & champagne flutes, which were used for both nights (we washed them between days). It was worth it, and they went over great.

• Dessert: $284
  We wanted to keep the tapas-style going into the dessert. A local chocolatier, recommended by our caterer, made three different things: mini carrot cake bars, mini blueberry cobbler, and mini chocolate mousse. All were freaking GREAT. We served them around the fire, so we also had s’mores.

Attire: $4,195

• Bride’s attire: $1,595
  My dress was the BHLDN Hearst. I am terrible at decisions, so I stuck to one store (BHLDN), did one try on day, and then ordered my dress based on that. Then I stopped looking! It was perfect, and I would remind everyone that just ‘cause you see a dress a lot on here doesn’t mean your guests have seen it before! As popular as this dress was, everyone reacted as if it was the most unique dress they’d ever seen. I loved it.

• Bride’s alterations: $270
  I had alterations done in my hometown, not NYC, which kept things cheaper. All that needed to be done was shortening the hem and reinforcing the clasp.

• Bride’s accessories: ~$190
  -Shoes: I bought my own shoes, which were Chinese Laundry, for around $80 on Amazon.
  - Underwear: I ended up getting a free pair of Spanx knock-offs from Amazon due to a return snafu. They were just fine!
  -Earrings: Free, heirloom
  - Crown: My mom bought this crown on a whim, and I thought it was going to be so gaudy and horrible… but it was perfect. I loved it. I assume it was around $20
  - Shrug: My mom bought me a Betsy Johnson shrug from BHLDN for Christmas. It was on sale at $50.
  -I didn’t wear a bra, a veil, or any jewelry besides my ring and earrings.
  - Engagement party dress: $40 from a FB sale

• Groom’s attire: $1600
  My husband is a Dapper Dan, so his suit was super important. He got a bespoke suit (pants, vest, jacket, shirt) from Bindle & Keep, which was AMAZING. His suit is perfect, it was reasonable, and their mission is fabulous. Highly recommended.

• Groom’s accessories: ~$250
  Velour bow tie ($20?), monogrammed pocket square ($20), shoes (Soludos, $90), cap ($120), pocket watch (already owned).

• Rings: $330
  We didn’t do wedding rings. We also didn’t have a formal engagement. We essentially just found rings we liked for a good price, swapped computers, and bought them for one another. Mine is garnet & diamond from Gardens of the Sun ($175), and his was sycamore and lapis from WoodWeddingBands on Etsy ($155).

• Beauty stuff: ~$230
  I had a wax ($25 via Groupon), a body scrub and wrap (free with gift card), and eyelash extensions ($65). My mom paid for my sister and I to get our nails done (~$150)

Décor: $1230.37

• Flowers: $190
  We tried to keep it super super simple here, since the venue was so natural and gorgeous. We ended up getting two buckets of flowers from Little Farmhouse Flowers, recommended by our caterer. They were amazing— got my colors, and planted a plot just for us!! My mom did the arrangements (1 centerpiece, 1 bouquet for me, 5 boutonnieres, and 3 corsages). She did an AMAZING job, and the flowers were truly stunning. I don’t know how much my mom spent on the floral items, unfortunately.

• Rentals: $322.11
  We rented 35 chairs for the ceremony and 3 tables for serving food. Did we end up needing the chairs we rented? Not really. Was I glad we had them just in case? YUP.

• Reception décor: ~$150
  Again, the venue was so gorgeous we kept it really simple. Mostly, we printed a lot of crap at my husband’s office, haha.
  - I printed a large map of the camp that we nailed to a tree.
  - My folks brought a flag, and gifted us some pretty and inexpensive serveware.
  - We put together small baskets of goodiesfor each cabin (sunscreen, bug spray, makeup wipes, flashlights, snacks, mostly from the dollar store) and wrote a Field Guide for each person.
  -We also hung small cork boards outside each cabin for general info.
  - We bought art supplies from the dollar store and created a “Kraft Korner” for the door decorating contest.
  - We also got an easel and cork board to post each day’s menus, which I created on Canva and printed out.

• Wedding Certificate: $337.26
  We had an artist friend create personalized illustrations ($300) for our Quaker-style wedding certificate, which I printed via Vistaprint. All our guests signed it. It’s a lovely thing to have!

• Instax camera: $88
  Bought a camera and film. It was fun to have around but by no means necessary.

• Wedding Favors: $143
  We created insulated plastic cups with our wedding logo on it for each guest. The water on site wasn’t potable, but the camp provided Culligans, which we outfitted with cool electronic fountains ($10 each) scattered around camp and in cabins. These cups were a HUGE hit— everyone used them to keep hydrated. Most people took them home, too!

Stationery: $278

• Save-the-dates: $0
  Sent via Paperless Post. We did follow-up emails (lunch order forms, weather update) on Mailchimp’s free service, which actually was great for tracking who received everything! RSVPs were done via Google Forms, which auto-populated into my master spreadsheet.

• Invitations: $170
  WHOOPS. I did so much research on this and still fucked up my invitations not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. I wanted a self-folded mailer, which I designed easily on Canva. Printing them and following the USPS protocol was the tricky part. Ultimately we spent around twice as much as we wanted on this. Printing was via Catprint, which was pretty good, generally.

• Thank you cards: $38
  Fucked up again here, haha, but Vistaprint saved me. I accidentally printed 50 FLAT photo cards, instead of 50 FOLDED photo cards. They reprinted at no cost to me.

• Postage: $50
  We ordered bird stamps from the USPS. They were cute and matched our theme.

• Other paper products: $20
  Designed everything on Canva and printed them at my husband’s office. We spent around $20 on paper for the Field Guide covers, but that was it.

Other Vendors: $1,650

• Hair/Makeup, Officiant, Video, DJ: $0
  My sister did my hair & makeup, and killed it. My husband’s brother officiated. My sister’s boyfriend set up the camera to film our ceremony (which turned out GREAT). We created playlists for each section of the wedding (pre-ceremony, cocktail hour, party time) on Spotify, which we already had a subscription to. There was no dancing, so this was easy.

• Photographer: $1650
  Photography wasn’t one of our priorities, in part because we just weren’t excited about all the pose-y pose stuff most of them have you do. We aimed to stay under 2k for this, and met with three photographers who met our needs. We ultimately chose Deborah Huber Photography, who was totally great. She matched our chill vibe and captured all the details. She was also a great self-starter and independent documentarian, which is great since we didn’t have a wedding coordinator!

Submitted October 28, 2019 at 08:20PM by JudithLightning https://ift.tt/2Pr3Bsr