I love eating.
I cannot put enough emphasis on the word “love”. I really do love to eat; and it shows. My thighs are maybe a little bigger than they should be, I have to work my angles when I take a selfie so that my double chin doesn’t show. Chubby but cute, you know.
As a Millennial - and a proud one at that - I’ve also fallen for the appeal of social media and everything it entails. Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest. Name it, I’ve got an account. My food blog and related posts have gotten quite a bit of traction and I’ve got about 10 000 followers on various platforms. I don’t get too caught up in it but I intend to ride the wave while I can.
Recently, though, I’ve been getting more and more complaints about the content I post. My professional Facebook account was even suspended for a week because a few people got upset. I feel like I need to address this.
I’ll start by saying that I’m also an adventurous eater. I’ve travelled the world and dabbled in the… unexpected side of local cuisine. I’ve had Fugu, Balut, Durian, Casu Marzu, Surströmming. If you don’t know what those are, I suggest you look it up - on an empty stomach if you’re squeamish. Strangely enough, those posts were my most popular. Which is also why I’m surprised at the sudden change of heart from my fans. I mean, it’s not like all this is coming out of nowhere.
I also believe that eating is a sensual experience. Not in a sexual way - although I’ve been on the internet long enough to know what some of you are into - but in the literal meaning of the word. All five of your senses should be involved when you eat.
I’ll give you an example with my favourite food - sushi.
When you look at a piece of salmon nigiri, you’ll see the pale, pastel pink of the fish and the streaks of white fat that go through the flesh like veins under skin. Your attention might be grabbed by the pure white of the rice, the presentation, the plate it’s served on. All these details paint a portrait for you to enjoy.
You might lean in to smell the sweetness of the fresh fish, and the tang of the seasoned rice. If you’ve decided to have soy sauce with your sushi, the saltiness of it will tickle your nostrils.
I recommend eating sushi with your fingers to get your sense of touch truly stimulated. When you reach out for it, you’ll feel the gentle stickiness of the rice on the tips of your fingers. But that is nothing when you compare it to the texture of it in your mouth. It is soft, nearly melty, and you barely have to chew - simply press your tongue into it to feel it break away and embrace your palate.
Hearing is subtle in this specific experience, but important nonetheless. Tune out the world around you and listen to the movements of your jaw, the quiet squeak of the fish against your teeth and let it fill your head.
Then pour yourself in the moment and feel each bit of food embrace your taste buds. The savoury, the sweet, the ever so slightly bitter. If you’ve had wasabi, you may taste the strong tingle of the Japanese horseradish in your mouth and in your sinuses, grabbing you for a second before its release.
This is but the finale of the symphony that was that single bite of food.
It seems like that experience has grown a little too familiar to me. Although I still enjoy eating “normal” food, I recently set out to find other ways to soothe the cravings that have taken a hold of me. And as a food blogger, I decided to take my fans along for the ride.
It started about two months ago, somewhat innocently. I had been walking through an arts and crafts store when a familiar scent caught my attention. I followed it through the quiet aisles, my feet on the linoleum being the only sound I could perceive. I stopped myself when I stood in front of a chalk display. The store I did most of my shopping at - I’m also a sucker for everything DIY - had a mix-and-match option for the chalk, allowing me to get the exact number and colours of pieces of chalk I needed.
This time, however, I was not thinking about the creative mosaics that could be drawn on pavement by the children I taught. I wasn’t thinking. I reached my hand over to the wooden rack and let the tips of my fingers brush over the pastel purple chalk. Quickly, I pulled it back to my chest and looked down at the fine powder that now rested in the grooves of my fingerprints.
I leaned in, breathed its scent in discreetly, and pulled my tongue out to lick it off my skin. The taste was surprisingly tame, and definitely not unpleasant. Similar to the experience you’d get from having two plain antacid tablets in your mouth at the same time. I licked my lips, my mind wandering for a moment before I proceeded to put five small pieces - all in different colours - in a box I then brought to the cash register with me.
I got back home, sat in front of my computer and started a live feed. Shortly after I went online, a few hundred people were watching, and I started to eat the chalk. I broke off small pieces at first, taking the time to crush them with my front teeth then my molars, thoroughly exploring these new sensations. The reactions were scarce at first but started pouring in as soon as I started biting into the colourful sticks like I would with carrots or celery. Munching purposefully, wiping the powder off my chin and lips with the back of my hand, staining it with residue and spit. Comments expressing both admiration and concern wouldn’t stop coming in, even hours after I had turned off the video and finished my unconventional snack.
I woke up the next day and knew that this had just been the beginning.
It escalated pretty quickly, far more so than I could’ve predicted. I bit into ice cubes - many people complained about the sound for that one -, swallowed lumps of hair or wool, shoved handfuls of soft clay or dirt into my mouth. I was, and still am, unable to stop myself. Styrofoam, plastic bags, nail polish, liquid glue; something deep within me needed to be fed these things, and my ever-growing number of followers stood as a testament of approval despite the hundreds of comments claiming that it was fake, or that I was crazy.
@veggiemama: You fucking lunatic, children are watching this. You need to be locked up @lydia.g: Girl these are getting wack, what the hell. @konnor.xxx: R u ok? U should prob see a Dr. @psiepsliongamma: Fake fake fake. You can see the image is warped in the background. Pretty good SFX tho, congrats
The last video, though… It didn’t go so well.
I must’ve spent ten minutes letting my mouse hover over the icon that would make me go live. I hesitated for the first time since that strange habit of mine had developed. Maybe because I had caught sight of my own face on my computer screen. I was pale and limp, cheeks droopy and lifeless, patches of red scattered across my once porcelain complexion. It wasn’t so bad, I thought to reassure myself as I finally clicked on the web button. I smiled at my laptop camera as dozens, then hundreds of users tuned in.
I was growing hungrier by the second.
My hands briefly trembled over the box that rested on my desk. Anticipation, excitement, a twinge of fear.
I picked up a smooth, hard object then twirled it between fingers before bringing it towards me. The flat end of the nail softly brushed over the curve of my parted lips - it was cold and soothing, the shiver it ignited taking me in the best way. I scraped its pointed tip over my chin then pushed it into my mouth, swallowing it in one gulp. Another two closely followed. As I took them in, I focused on the feeling and taste of the refined metal in the back of my throat. My own body surprised me when I slightly choked and gagged, my stomach protesting against the steely affront. I coughed, eyes watery, but I fought it. I had to.
I was starved for more.
Frantically, I reached into the box once more and winced when a thick piece of broken glass nicked my thumb. I licked off the crimson pearl from the fresh wound and closed my eyes as the taste of iron coated my tongue. Its flavour was deep and intricate, strong and pure, torn by a hint of floral sweetness. In the same steady movement, I caught the glass between my teeth and forced my jaw down on it, feeling it shatter on impact.
The sharp, jagged pieces stuck to the plumpness of my lips and I paused, processing the rising pain as quiet whines resonated from within my heaving chest. Soon, though, I was chewing with purpose, enduring each and every wave of suffering that eventually turned to warm numbness. Glass gashed the delicate skin of my gums and thrust deep into the roof of my mouth, releasing a torrent of syrupy blood in my gaping throat. I tried to breathe and swallow, but I could only produce a viscous gurgling sound as the serrated chunks crawled into me, cutting and scraping my oesophagus on their way down. My anguished whimpers were stifled by thick lumps of flesh, detaching themselves from my palate and cheeks and spluttering against my writhing tongue. It’s when I felt one of my teeth crack, the exposed bone now loose in its violated socket, that I had the urge to spit everything out. I panicked and cried out, my entire body twitching with visceral dread. Despite all of this, something was keeping me from expelling it, and the moment my lungs had calmed enough to let me breathe, I swallowed the mess of gore and glass with a ravenous appetite.
By the way, does anyone know a good oral surgeon?
Submitted June 21, 2019 at 05:20AM by vee_hades http://bit.ly/2N081XG
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