This is going to be a very long post, so get your snacks ready.
Disclaimer:
This was a few years ago, while I was attending University in North East Texas. But the events in this retelling have been kept as close as I can keep them, while protecting all of those involved. I personally believe that people can change, but they must show the results for years before I will take their word again. Trust was broken and forgiveness has been given, but my memory is will always tell me to keep an eye on him from now on.
Background:
I had graduated from a community college with an Associate's in May 2014 and two weeks to the day after graduation my brothers, my dad's best friend, and my cousin worked together to bury my father after complications due to surgery. So, at one of the most important times in a young man's life, I lost the one who believed in me the most and it hit me hard. But live moves on and I was accepted to transfer to a University a few hours from my family's home. While this was not the first time I was living by myself, but I had more things on my mind than just classes.
While I was working out my classes and my personal issues at the time, I meet our person of interest during a mutual class that we had together. While I not been able to get to know him for now, we ended up going on two international trips together to Greece and Israel (if you can go, go. Do not miss out. It is worth the investment) and we finally got a chance to talk. He, at the time, seemed like a reasonable person to talk to and showed no signs of anything noteworthy. Time told a different story. But first things first.
After the Greece trip in 2015, he had the idea of start a H.E.M.A. (Historical European Martial Arts) style club at the school and he wanted to know if I wanted to not only join him, but also become its first officer in the club (only other officer at the time and under him in seniority). I took him up at the offer and helped him build it up over each and every semester. Around the same time, I became the Student Senator for my floor (this will be relevant later).
So, during the first year, there were few issues and most were not noteworthy in and of themselves, but I chalk it up to problems of starting a new club. So, I did not take it very seriously at the time.
Early during the Spring 2016 semester, I made a mistake in the club shortly after a meeting, apologized and stepped down as a leader of the club. I thought that the situation would be done at that moment, but that is not what happened. What transpired was a series of back and forth, between the person of interest and me, on the club mass email list, in-front of 40+ individuals mind you, and so more in a personal emails. This went on for half a week and it finally involved some intervention by the Director of Student Affairs. Needless to say, things were resolved, but in a not-so-friendly way. Mind you, I had not even missed a single meeting and knew everyone who came to meetings by name. So, to help the situation, I chose to stay away for a few weeks, and I thought, at the time, everything should have resolved itself. To extent, it did. But things are about to get interesting.
The calm before the storm:
(Characters, not their real names: person of interest: Kyle; club officer #1: Austin; club officer #2: Jake; Me: Me)
After the Spring semester was over and the Israel trip was completed, I returned to the school to complete senior year and get my Bachelor's in Business Management. I won my reelection as Senator for my floor, I had solve several of my personal issues, and I was looking forward towards a simple and uneventful senior year. After classes started back and the club resumed as usual, I was one of the members back from the previous year. What I was not expecting, was after the first meeting of the year, I was brought back on as a club leader. So, what do you think would be an excellent use of a club leaders' expertise? If you said to spy on the other two officers of the club, then you win a high five and a shout out. Because one of the leaders lived in the same dorm building, he on the first floor and I on the third floor, I decided to check there first that very night. They were both there and they decided to tell me what was on their minds. It just so happened to be a concern about the club and some major concerns with Kyle. This was going to be the club's third semester and there was no growth. Participation outside of the club was minimal and there was, at most, 4 people, besides the leaders going to meetings. So, they had a legitimate concern, so as a Business major and a Student Senator, I thought that I could be the diplomat in this situation.
The following week, I told Kyle of what was going on (minus the concerns about him). He felt that the situation was under control and went about his life and I attempted to keep as much information from both sides as possible to smooth things over and without each side building up a case for getting rid of each other. Am I proud about lying to both sides that I did not know what the other was thinking of each other? Not really. But both sides knew what they needed to know about each other without having an advantage over the other.
After the original findings from Austin and Jake, I followed up with them after classes, Senate meetings, committee meetings, and club meetings as much as I could possibly get away with without tipping off Kyle. This is where I begin learning that Kyle is not who is claims to be. It turns out, that both Austin and Jake have been digging into Kyle's activities around campus and his claims about himself and his actions spoke of two different people. Among the list of things that Austin and Jake compiled on Kyle, which included, but was not limited to the following: harassing several female students at the campus, treating multiple students with disdain (I being one of them, as mentioned earlier), douchebaggery on multiple occasions, manipulation, and more. His rap sheet began to grow, but the sad part about it, I ended up in a room with several of the victims of his terrible actions and they each confirmed their part of the list. Things started to turn against Kyle in my mind, but there was a chance to reform the club and give Kyle a chance to redeem himself. So, I gave Kyle the benefit of the doubt.
Austin and Jake did not share my optimism for Kyle, so they both took it in their hands to write out a new club constitution. By the time that I knew about the constitution, it was about 8 pages long and was still in early-mid draft stage, but it showed a lot of promise. I, being in Student Senate, decided to put my expertise to work and help them polish up their version of the constitution and began, on my own accord, to write from scratch an entire constitutional bylaws for the club (it was an almost perfect copy and paste of the Student Senate Constitution Bylaws and minor changes for the club, but don't tell anyone).
So, after writing about 20% of the new club Constitution and the entire club Constitutional Bylaws, Austin, Jake, and myself decide that it would be a good idea to at least talk with Kyle and see what can be done to address the club member issue. We finally are able to have a meeting the last Friday of September of 2016. We get results in the officer meeting and at the club meeting the next day, it seems like nothing has changed. This does not look good, but I thought that he might be attempting a different style of change than we were expecting. The following week, no change. Things were already heating up between Kyle and the other officers, with myself caught in the middle.
A few weeks go by and no changes are made by Kyle, and Austin and Jake are losing their patience with Kyle. So, I attempt one last thing to address the issue. I used my knowledge of statistics (I was taking a statistics class that semester) and put together a survey for the whole club. Because, in statistics, you need enough data points to draw out points that are statistically significant (n ≥ 30), I would needed most, if not, all of the club members to have taken the survey and returned it to me. Because I knew that if I put in my personal results into the survey, it could have ruined the results. So, I chose not to take the survey unless 30 other people took it already. After the results came in, only two people ended up taking the survey, Austin and Jake.
When I had the surveys in hand and the results placed on a word doc and printed out, so that no names would be on the results that I brought to the next officers meeting, we enjoyed some pizzas and talked about the results. Promises were made by both parties and I was given the opportunity to teach the next club meeting, not 24 hours away. I was given the topic at hand and some videos to better learn the techniques and sent away to sleep and prepare for tomorrow.
The storm arrives in full force:
Tomorrow comes and I have the techniques down by 4 P.M. I head to Kyle's room to see if he is there and go over the techniques with him to double check my work. He is not there. I send him some texts to see where he is. No response. No big deal, I can check up on him later since the club meeting starts around 7 P.M.
I stop by his dorm room on my way to the club meeting, still no answer. I get there and there is only one person that beat me and someone else who came in shortly after me. Another person announces in the group chat that they are on their way and I, being the only leader there, decided to wait for that individual to come. That individual never came. Around 7:30 P.M., Kyle arrives and is considered about a low turnout and the late start.
No biggie. I started to show those who arrived the techniques that we are going to be learning for the evening, perfectly mind you, and Kyle decides to challenge me, in front of the group. My patience's is tested to its fullest in that moment, but the only thing that I can muster is: "Kyle, we talked about this yesterday." He continued to press, so I brought out my phone and showed the group the video in question. Same style, same technique, no change whatsoever. So, we break up in pairs and go back and forth to each other. This goes on for about 15 minutes, and we start the next technique. Again, Kyle decides to challenge my capability in front of the group. The last time was the last straw. This time was when grace ran out.
Now I have two types of honesty: honesty and brutal honesty. I am honest all the time, but when I become brutally honest, what is said is fully meant, unabridged, and is the closest thing to me cursing you out without cursing, because I personally don't curse for any reason.
Queue my patience turning into a level of brutal honesty that could be confused for orbital bombardment on your feelings. No one felt that they wanted to hear the verbal smack down that happened that night. He thought that he was still in the right and still attempted to manipulate me, but he had already burned down most of his bridges at University and decided to light mine as well. When I saw that I was not getting anywhere with Kyle, I took my equipment, dismissed the group for the night, sent out the "Emergency Meeting" message to the other officers of the group, who were unable to make it to the meeting that night and made an important decision. In one voice and with every opportunity to affect change ignored, we sent out the email to everyone in the group email list, that Kyle, was effectively removed from his position from the club and thrown out. This was mid-November, shortly before 9 P.M.
The crap storm that began from this started early the next morning when Kyle decided to check his email. His response was predictable, if not continuing to take back control of a situation that he put himself into. Our response was simple: shut up and never talk to the group again. This made him livid. Austin enjoyed the fireworks, Jake was happy that some justice was finally being served to him, and I was quietly recovering from the confrontation and planning my next move. But the messages went back and forth for a few days before we are able to go to the group sponsor.
After the event, Austin and Jake decide that it is a good idea to get the club sponsor up to date and see if he could get involved. As it turns out, they were not the first to him. Kyle decided to get his ear before Austin and Jake could, possibly to discredit them. But the evidence against Kyle meant that Austin and Jake were going to be heard out fully. I was invited to join Austin and Jake during their second meeting with our club sponsor, but Kyle was already there and refused to be in the same room as us, believing that we were out to throw him out of his own club. So, we let him speak with our sponsor first and we brought forth our case and what possible changes we thought were necessary to help the club. No action was taken then and there, but the situation had quickly fallen out of control at that point. There was no saving the club at that point, but just salvaging what is left.
The Fallout:
After a week of no progress, we were told to come to the Director of Student Affairs and present our cases to him. That meeting was interesting, to say the least. You could have cut the tension in the air with a brick, just like a butter knife. Because it was Kyle's club, he was allowed to present his side of the story and his version of the club Constitution. His version of the Constitution was, at best: 3 pages, 12 pt. Times New Roman, double spaced. Total. Besides the entire thing being very short, very poorly written, and gave himself full power and the officers were nothing more than yes-men positions, he felt very proud of what he did. He also claimed to have a newer version in the works but refused to show it.
It was our turn to present our case, which included Kyle changing the name of the club 12 times in less than 18 months without any outside input, the unacceptable behavior both inside and out the club, etc. Plus, on top of that show our version of the constitution. Our was: 12.5 pages long, 12 pt. Times New Roman, single space, complete with clearly laid out roles and how to attain them, clearly laid out requirements for membership and voting rights, removal of officers and how they can return, etc. He seemed concerned but kept his cool for the time.
Queue the checkmate.
While handing in the Constitution, Austin speaks up and says: "We also have Bylaws."
The Director of Student Affairs is stunned and says: "You have Bylaws?"
I simply reach into my computer bag and pull out the: 9-page, 12 pt. Times New Roman, single spaced, club Constitutional Bylaws. This was my pride and joy from this event, but the face that Kyle made when I handed it over to the Director was priceless. This was merely the first, second, and third nails in the coffin for Kyle.
Austin, Jake, and I were sent out while the club sponsor and the Director spoke to Kyle personally. When he came out, he did not say much but his face showed that he was not going to enjoy this last month until finals.
The Director and club sponsor decided that the only way that we could work this out, was that Kyle got to keep his club and that Austin, Jake, and Myself were to start our own club separate from Kyle's. It was not optimal, but we all knew that it was going to be the best that we could get.
Telling the club of what happened and the results that became from it was not easy, but it was necessary. I broke the news and did my best to keep the situation under control. Some loved it, some hated it, some refused to respond. The semester ended and we all went home, and we planned on starting up the New Club as soon as possible.
The smoke clears:
I returned to the school for my last semester as a student, and lo and behold, Kyle is MIA (Missing In Action). I heard through the grapevine that he never returned to the school. Whether the school admin finally had enough of him, or he decided not to come back on his own choice, he never returned to the school to wreck his havoc on anyone else. Though I felt relief when I got the news, I also felt pity on him. Though he deserved everything that he got and more, I knew that if he remains the same as he left, he will never be able to live the life he could have.
The New Club begins up and a few of the old faces return and some new faces fill in the missing roster. There is some growth from the last club, but this is just the start.
I was voted in as Club Quartermaster (I was in charge of club equipment and ensuring that everything was safe for use), Jake was voted in as Club President, and Austin was voted in as Club Vice-President. However, things did not work out as intended. As Austin transferred out to a community college a few miles from his home and Jake became busy with Sophomore Engineering classes, so I ended up being the one and only effective officer for the club my last semester. I never missed a single club meeting and we started to see consistent growth in attendance for the New club from the old club. But to rub salt in the wounds of Kyle, when he left over Christmas break, his club died without him.
Now, as I write this at 3:20 A.M. on Easter Sunday, 2019, I can say with full knowledge, that our New club is still thriving to this day and is seeing consistent growth from semester to semester. Jake will be graduating in less than a month from now and the original club officers, that started this whole thing, will no longer be in charge of it and we know that it will continue on without us. We will still drop by from time to time and contact everyone over the club Groupme chat or the Officers Groupme chat. And when Kyle continues to post things on his little Facebook group, which has not seen any growth since it started, I occasionally take pictures and share them to the group who was a part of this entire fiasco and we all get a good laugh out of it.
TL;DR Transfer to new University, join as a leader in a club, problems arise in the club, attempt to reform club, club founder refuses the reforms and makes my life hell, throw founder out of his own club, founder then burns down his own club and leaves the school, the other officers and I rebuild the club to where it should be, the new club is still going strong today.
Submitted April 21, 2019 at 10:19PM by Texanswordman http://bit.ly/2IDRZ2y
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