Spring break of senior year of college. I'd always told myself if I ever did something outside of weed/alc, it'd be shrooms. My roommate had some and she and I were going to Philly for the week and decided to do them on our hiking day so we could be in nature and have a good time.
Overall: good trip. very little visual hallucinations (mostly pulsing and a bit of fractals). lots of feelings. "everything is everything, and i'm me!"
We found a little spot by the river that was on some schist and decently private. Realized we needed a bathroom run, hiked back to them. Feeling a bit funky, thoughts moving around. Hit the start of it around when we got to the bathrooms (my roommate took more than me and by this point was tripping). I was definitely starting to feel it on the way back. I felt loose, and I ran over the rocks as if I was floating along in the river, ebbing and flowing, letting my arms move freely as I jumped. It was a very late winter/early spring landscape, and looking out at all the bare trees I recall really enjoying the way they were clustered and spaced. They had a collective effervescence that I really felt I was a part of. I felt connected and drawn to the rocks, the leaves, the trees.
We came back to our spot and sat for a while. I was nauseous, very tense and dizzy. This was about when I began to peak. I looked down the river at the horizon line where everything kind of met. In the distance the trees and branches looked like they were forming little houses and villages, and the tops of the trees seemed to curl and move in strange ways. At this point my roommate was tripping pretty hard, saying she could see faces in the trees and all that, and I remember feeling VERY GRATEFUL that I wasn't there because I could barely handle the intensity of the textures as they already were all around me.
We decided to walk around for a bit, and I went on ahead to a rocky creek bed where a swirling pool was under a bridge. I felt as if I was a little girl- both inside and out. I was wearing a bright red coat, bucket hat, had some chipped nail polish and some colorful markers in my pocket, all of which suddenly seemed extremely child-like. But my hands were adult hands, and my shadow looked long in front of me. I thought about my mom, and that I really really loved her, and mother nature. I missed her deeply. I was feeling overwhelmed, but I hummed gently to myself in a way I imagined my mom/a mother would, and it soothed me.
My roommate and I ended up at this rock right in the shallows of the water, at the edge of the deep pool. It was a very beautiful area, with the sound of the water cascading and the light reflecting off the water all around, and a big stone bridge arching above us. I had been feeling strong emotions the whole time, but this felt somehow like the climax. I felt like, as the water moved and swirled around me, like I was in a river of feelings, joy and sadness, fear and love, etc. I was being confronted by the "everythingness" of the universe, and it was overwhelming. The world felt so full, from every small texture and tree to every person and job, so many subjects, so many feelings. And there was me. I was thinking about myself, and all these feelings, and I felt that I began to truly find myself within all this, and I accepted all of it. I accepted the ugly and the beautiful things, about myself and about everything around me. Everything was different, but everything was the same. I saw the splintering lines of the trees jutting towards the sky and I saw that they were the same form as the veins in our bodies. Different, but the same. I felt like I had a very yellow aura, bright and energetic and warm. I felt a strong sense of security about who I was as a person, amidst the complex world. All this was enhanced by the fact that my roomie and I were wearing almost exactly matching outfits (unplanned) and both bonded a lot over our ADHD and other general weirdness. She and I seemed so similar and so different at the same time, and I loved that. I splashed water on my hands and a bit on my cheeks. I felt refreshed and cleansed.
I feel that I'm forgetting a lot of it, but there was a lot at once. I'm not sure I'll ever do them again, as it was honestly a very tiring experience, and not one I'd need to have frequently. If I do I only think it would be once more in the spring, at like 2g. Still have a lot of processing to do. Hmm hmm hm.
Anyways. Hope it was a fun read! Thanks! Here's pictures of the area for context (and our shroom art):
Submitted March 21, 2019 at 06:05AM by opalight https://ift.tt/2TmMczg
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