Type Me

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How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am a 19 year old female. Whenever someone asks me to describe myself the first thing I think of is responsible.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

I have had an eating disorder since the beginning high school so I think I'm more critical and self conscious, but it doesn't massively affect my life anymore.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

I grew up in a relatively rural area in the north east. It was a pretty normal childhood in a small town and high school where I never moved until college. My parents are roman catholic and made me go to CCD until confirmation when I was 15. I always found it really useless and thought the teachers were lowkey crazy or hippies. Now I'm a lot more tolerant of religion but as a child I hated religion and judged people who were super religious.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I'm currently a student in college. I really like how free college is where I can schedule when I have classes and when I study. I usually find something to like about all the classes I take unless its a memorize and regurgitate class. I have a real hatred for the classes I'm forced to take like certain gen eds and first year classes. It's because most of the time in these classes every one is there because they have to be so it ends up being a waste of time and money. For example there is a first year class that is very similar to a philosophy class. Normally I wouldn't mind philosophy, in fact I really enjoy it, but I can tell that no one else cares which make the discussions meaningless.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

I would love a weekend by myself. During long vacations I usually show up a day or two early so I can enjoy the silence when no one else is there. Of course if I'm in a depressed mood then I can feel lonely, but that is only after a very long period of being alone, like a week or something. I love that I can do whatever I want uninterrupted without worrying about someone trying to say hi or ask for something (which is common in a dorm setting). I also don't feel like I'm constantly being watched like I do when I'm with someone (even if were not doing anything).

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I like a lot of different activities, but for the most part I like non physical activities. Contrary to that fact I'm pretty good at sports. I'm naturally athletic, I just don't enjoy many sports. However, I love bowling and dance, with occasionally playing volleyball. I love music so dance is my way of appreciating the music I like. Bowling is a big mental sport and individualistic and I feel like I can always improve in it. I like cooking and baking because it's fun to experiment and see what you can make with what you have. Reading is something I do a lot, especially fantasy books because they usually build great worlds and characterizations where I can lose myself in them.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

Hell yeah. I'm always asking why and researching. I read about almost everything but more so in the social sciences like sociology, foreign languages, and others. Things that many people don't know, or help me under stand the world interest me. I don't look into the math and sciences as much because it tends to feel like memorization. I find myself going off on thought tangents where I just read articles, watch YouTube videos or documentaries, and just look at topics for hours. Because I find so many things interesting I often do find myself thinking and learning about more than I can handle.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

I don't necessarily like taking leaderships positions but I end up taking them a lot because I feel that I can do the best job. Many times I don't trust that others will get things done and do them well. I'm very good at keeping a group productive since I hate fooling around when things aren't done. I usually delegate tasks since people do well when they only have to focus on one task. Even if i'm not the leader I end being asked for advice or end up being an example. I can be a demanding leader because I hold people up to the same standards I set for myself. This is all assuming I care about the task. If I don't then I perfectly fine with getting my shit done and leaving.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I'm not coordinated unless I'm trying to be. I am fairly decent at dancing and bowling requires good timing and coordination. However, I make a lot of small mistakes like tripping, knocking things over, and breaking things. I didn't think I was someone that worked with there hand a lot, but I've noticed that my fingers fidget a lot and I'll do things like play with my hair, hair tie, and pick my nails. I also really enjoy origami and building with Lego's. I hate mechanics and I think that's why I used to think the opposite.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I find that this question is really hard to answer since there are so many ways a person can be artistic. I have always loved movies and theater, so in that way I am very artistic. I also appreciate art a lot. I love learning about the history, why the medium was used, what the intentions were, what happened in the artist's life, etc. Exception is Renaissance which can disappear for all I care because it's the same idea of painting gods and the same form (small rant). I wouldn't say I'm artistic in the sense that I paint and draw but I like thinking of concepts. For example if I were to decorate a room I wouldn't think specifically of what I want there to be but think about the concept I'm going for along with color palette and more. I won't think about details until I'm at the store buying things.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

If I look at the past it's from a history/for fun purpose. I also have a habit of thinking about dumb things I did in the past or how I should have done things instead. I have a habit of thinking ahead A LOT. I'm always planning my day and thinking of future goals. I wish I could "stay in the present" more. For example during the day I will be walking to class, thinking of what I'm doing after class, where I'm going to study, when I'll eat dinner, etc. I also do things with the idea of how it will help in the future, like studying Japanese and studying harder with the thought of being skilled at it by the time I go to Japan.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

This is also I hard question. Many of my friends say I am both very helpful but also won't do something if i don't want to. If it's a simple request its perfectly fine like filling up a water bottle or throwing something away for them. Usually when I help someone I expect them to also help me. Like if I pay for someone I expect them to pay me back within a day or so. Also sometimes I'll help someone I don't know well just to build up my reputation or to make myself seem reliable, as heartless as that sounds. But I do things for friends if they are in a tough spot or having a bad time right away without question. I will drop whatever I'm doing to help a close friend.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Yes. One of my pet peeves is when someone states an opinion, tells me a fact, or argues with me without giving me a reason. I do not mind debating but I will not accept your point until you show me evidence as to why your'e right. My parents would get annoyed because I would always ask why and how long and ask what they were talking about. The only things that I'm okay with not being given a logical reasoning to is theoretical or existential subjects. Even when talking about those I want people to tell me how they came to a conclusion.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

When working, I need to be efficient and productive. It is very 0 or 100 for me. When I work I stay in the library until it is done or I know I can get the other things done tomorrow and have time. This is because when I relax I like to know that I don't have to worry about that thing. For the most part I go to the library, get my things done, and leave. It baffles me that my roommate can go there for 5 hours and barely get anything done, or go from 11pm-2am because she took a nap during the day. People praise me for the fact that I finish my work right away but for me it just seems like the most logical way to do it. Why would I put things off if I can just do it and not worry? I don't feel the need to be productive all the time because I know personally I need breaks, and know when I'm able to get the most done.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

Oof I feel called out by this question, but yes I am controlling. I wouldn't say in the stereotypical "girlfriend bosses boyfriend around" way though because if someone is doing something stupid, then I usually mind my own business. Especially if I don't know them well. When it comes to friends I think I end up being controlling because I am a pretty balanced person, so when people do obviously destructive things I call them out. But if they continually go against my advice I don't have a problem with letting them do stupid shit. If your'e not going to listen then I won't help when you have a problem and come crying to me.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

I said most of them before but I like bowling, volleyball, dance, cooking, baking, and reading. I also love learning as vague as it sounds. Just browsing through YouTube watching theory videos, educational videos, and analyzes. I find it really fun to analyze movies comparing it to how others saw the movie/show. Sometimes people get angry at me because I talk and spoil surprises because I usually figure them out early.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I like to learn by someone showing me or by lecture. I hate learning by sitting in a silent room and reading a textbook because I tend to lose focus very easily and find textbook writing monotonous. My favorite classes are discussion classes that require people to go into depth of the topic. When learning I need to learn about the topic because I will remember the general topic but I'm very bad with straight memorization. If I'm in a class that requires memorization I need to apply it in order to remember it. For example foreign languages I love the class because we only speak in Japanese and use what we memorize. I like lectures because if the professor is good, then they provide context and stories. I have no clue how people skip lectures, memorize the textbook, and take the exam.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

Both? I definitely don't wing projects, but I don't micromanage every task. So rather than break it into small pieces I break it up into large chunks. They are also vague tasks, so for a project that is a presentation and paper, I would split it into 1. do paper, 2. Do presentation, 3. Practice presentation. I wouldn't split it into write intro, body, etc. If I try to do that I never end up following it. But I am good at prioritizing tasks.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

I am not sure about a specific goal but I know I want to learn Japanese. I want to make enough money to be comfortable, be able to travel and a job that I enjoy and feel is fulfilling. I would rather die than do a day to day desk job. I tend to obsess over something and drop it a few months later so I find it hard to pinpoint a path to take. Also in high school I wasn't overly skilled in one area, and was well rounded in all subjects.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I fear failure and being labeled as incompetent. I don't really care if people don't like me for my personality or whatever, but if it is because they think I am stupid or unable to do something simple I will be deeply offended and find a way to prove them wrong. Small thing that I fear is bugs. Those fuckers could be anywhere and invade your safe spaces like your house. Hate small talk. You both don't care so why bother unless you both actually like something similar? Pet peeves are people invading my personal space, looking over my shoulder at my phone or laptop, and constantly ask me questions when they know I'm not responding. In general just people invading my privacy. That's also why I hate going out. I always say I have to be at least tipsy just to consider going to a club. I'd much rather go out to dinner with one or two friends and just talk. I also hate people ignore me. I only talk if I have something important to say so when someone talks over me or ignores me I feel very offended and like they don't care.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

Either when I accomplish something or when I manage to stay in the moment. When I get an award or am recognized for something it shows me that all my hard work paid off, even if its a simple "hey you're really good at that." As I said before I look into the future all the time so if I'm hanging out with friends and I just see the great time I'm having it's amazing. Sometimes just observing a moment or appreciating it its enjoyable for me.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

Whenever I feel no motivation. As someone who love learning, if I feel no urge to learn then I feel like I have no purpose. If I feel like I'm going no where its disheartening. This is different from enjoying downtime because I am choosing to relax and do nothing productive.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

It depends on if I need to be. While doing important projects, classes, tests, work, etc. I can focus on them until they're done. If I need to be practical I will be, but in everyday life I daydream all the time. I'll be thinking of dances in my head, possible scenarios, or the book I just read. I tend not to notice things when I do this, on multiple occasions someone said they saw me and tried to wave and I never saw them.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

I would probability sing songs in my head, which I do a lot anyway. Most likely dance to it too. My first thought though would mostly be why I'm stuck in a room and try to get out... but that's not the point of the question. I'd also imagine certain scenarios for myself like being a wizard, being rich, living in another country, etc.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

I will think of a decision right away, but I usually seek advice from friends or those who have had experience with my situation or research it. I want to know facts when I search out advice though, not the "follow your gut" advice. I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. If I knew I would have already made the decision and you would only know about it afterwards. I'm always thinking about possibilities so I do wonder if I made the right choice a lot, but I rarely change my mind.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

I talk to myself a lot, so I almost feel like I am constantly talking about my feelings in my head. Serious emotions are a little more difficult but I think that's partially due to my mental health issues. I hate expressing these to others and would rather process them and tell them once I know exactly how I feel...and that's if I tell them. If forced to say them randomly it becomes a jumbled mess. I think you need to address your emotions in certain situations, but most of the time I find them to be annoying and can get in the way.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

I will agree with people to keep our conversation civil. If I had issues with someone I avoid them rather than possibly cause a dispute. That would turn into an annoying situation that I'd rather not deal with. But if I don't want to talk I'll get give the short responses until they get the point and leave me alone. Most of the time I just avoid getting into the conversation in the first place.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

Only if I find them to be unnecessary. I don't understand why high schoolers vape in the bathroom and justify it as "putting it to the man" or "I do what I want man." Authority exists to keep order so they need to be in place, but that doesn't mean they are always right. If breaking rules it should be for a purpose and done in a way that it changes the current rule for the better.

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That was long but I was told to be thorough....

Thanks for whoever reads this novel.

Submitted March 01, 2019 at 04:45AM by bluerose95 https://ift.tt/2NHkooh