EP-entitled parent SB-spoiled brat N-nephew X- ex
Sit back, it’s a long one. no cops or assault though, so feel free to peace out.
Background: My X was in his 40s myself in my 30s, neither of us have kids. We both worked full time and lived comfortably.
X brother was late 30s, married to EP, two kids N (8) and SB (3).
——— X expressed a wish to get more involved in Ns life. Neither parent were interested in academics, N was expected to play sports, which he liked, until he didn’t. Turns out he was more into science and video games neither parent was remotely interested or supportive.
X was an adult gamer addict, so showered N with all the gear games etc but i pressed that being involved meant spending time not money, and so we started taking him on whale watches, to museums, movies, fairs, not a lot, but every couple months generally.
We fed him, bought him stuff sometimes but mostly gave him cash to pick out his own things, telling him if he didn’t spend it he could take it home. So basically, how much do you really want it?
Not huge sums of money mind you, 20/30 depending. Most of the time he’d choose to buy a hoodie from the place, or trinkets, etc. If he didn’t, it was his, but he liked buying little souvenirs from the places he went. Pretty good gig for the kid and he was always super polite, respectful, and generally a pleasure to be around.
Until EP ruined it.
Early on, at drop off she starts with “N what did you get for your sister?” mind you, they hand him over with zero cash. Like most kids, he mumbles something and feels bad, bc he didn’t always think of it. Sometimes if i remembered I’d grab something for her, sometimes no. It started pissing me off bc our objective was to give N a day of attention, BECAUSE....
EP and SB have this “pretty pretty princess” obsession like that gross thing where “they’re TWINS!” . EP would brag about how talented a singer, a dancer, etc. this went on for years, so 3-6 maybe.
SB always had the spotlight, she and EP made sure of it, 4 yr old getting regular trips to get her nails done ( to match mommy, of course), and the endless dance recitals that are a 4 hour trip through hell, cost 30 bucks (always had to reimburse) to watch a basic toddler stumble around on stage for 3 minutes. Ugh not my or X cup of tea but we went, even brought her flowers a few times.
Anyway, I’m pretty good with most kids I always played with SB when we visited, Im into art so i would draw things for her to color, letting her tell me what to draw, so don’t think this child was left out. She’s a kid, none of this is her fault, her mom is the problem and i know it. I’m not a monster though, and still could have fun with the little girl,, and did.
But she absolutely refused to listen or obey anything i said to her in terms of limit setting even for basic safety hygiene type things. X was 6’4 and huge, and SB was afraid of him, refused to speak to him and would run away.
this did get better over time but he wasn’t super great with little kids and didn’t really do the work to fix it so he was in no great rush to bring her either.
Soon after we started taking N, EP started letting SB make a scene every time we picked up N, running to our car, screaming crying having to be dragged away etc. like that is really going to convince us to add that nightmare to our fun day.
No surprise, I hear EP comforting her, saying “baby they’ll take you somewhere special next time.” what? no.
So time passes, this continues and EP starts hinting “Oh you saw birds? SB LOOOOOVES birds, she would enjoy that so much.” “uh huh”. not buying what you’re selling lady, no way.
Finally she asks point blank when we ask to take N somewhere “okay, and you’ll take SB this time right?”
and i said the thing that all EPs and SBs hate.... no.
you would have thought i just told her her kid was a crusted piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe. She lays into me about how unfair it is we take N and not her, and we were mean and hurting her family and most of all SBs feelings.
Calmly i explained to her that we would love to take her, but she has proven over and over again in her own house that she won’t respect or mind me, which is fine, she’s a child, but i’m not taking her in public where she’s my responsibility.
I have two days off a week, and her son manages these trips beautifully, i am not signing up for babysitting a child that young, she could get hurt or lost, and i’m not interested. When she is older, maybe.
Of course she says i’m so wrong SB is an angel and would be perfect. Impossible, the second she feels left out she starts screaming. i don’t do little kids screaming.
But ok she’s not going to see that point, i try a different approach and say (in a very nice way) all the nail salon and dance stuff SB does is so fun for her, but leaves N out, not that he wants those things but it’s nice to feel special, we want to give him that since X and i sometimes do things he enjoys, we’re happy to include him.
She gets a little huffy at this point (because i’m right) and says “well you should do more things that they both will enjoy then.”
Umm that’s just the problem, he’s 5 yrs older than her, so you defer to SBs developmental level and instantly the poor kid is bored, plus if it isn’t pink fluffy shiny or LOUD and something she can immediately be the center of, SB is instantly bored which leads to tantrums and problem behavior.
I told EP X And i don’t enjoy those types of things, and won’t be spending our days off doing them, when we visit their home I’m happy to engage with SB though, or if EP and husband wanted to come along we could ALL go as a family somewhere everyone would enjoy.
Nope, not having it, she calls me selfish and unfair (lady i have been nurturing N now for years, and still making sure SB got all the obnoxious pink tutus ruby slippers sparkle stickers etc on Xmas and birthday bc before I came along X would be stopping at target on the way over) and unless i changed my shitty attitude we could no longer take N.
Well that sure sucked, but you’re crazy if you think THAT is going to manipulate me. That was the end of the day trips for N. They would have been ruined anyway, as N commented sometimes it was nice to have time away from SB “being a baby”.
It coincided with him becoming a teenager, so it wasn’t as big of a deal as it could have been, he wanted to hang with his friends, and was gaming online with X, so at least they had forged a relationship over the years through hanging out with us.
We broke up, so i have no reports on SB, but last i saw her she remained a taller version of the same snotty entitled princess I refused to take out of the house
Way to go EP though, ruin a good thing for your already neglected son in favor of your spoiled ass over indulged daughter.
thanks for reading, i know crazy long.
Submitted February 01, 2019 at 05:01AM by Ns4200 http://bit.ly/2BcKuKI
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