Okay, so the recent post by the mods about the non-changing rules pointed out that “leisure” is the least-used tag. Some complain about that. In fact, I’ve been criticized recently for having posted rants and not a “leisure” blurb. My thoughts on the matter is that ...isn’t leisure kinda like bragging? Who wants to hear what I do with my spare time? This isn’t a blog, right? But then I thought that perhaps someone might be inspired if they’re trying to figure out what to do. So those of you here for that (because who else clicks on leisure posts?) this is what I do.
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I take care of my health. I’m active, and maintain a good BMI. I run on nice days, and do aerobics and yoga on the rainy or cold days. I don’t have to set my wake up schedule to crying brats or make them breakfast.
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I go to a spa once after every large international job. I get cellulite-destroying massages, get my hair re-styled, get my nails and toenails manicured. I do not worry about a crying, bored two-year-old or babysitters.
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I eat low-carb, but pricey food. When I want! Sashimi, pate, wagyu steaks, veggie fondue, cheese plates, anything I want when I want it. No having to buy bulk carbs to save on feeding five people, or limit myself to chicken nuggets and mac-and-cheese because that’s all the urchins will eat! I can experiment with food,and alternate cooking days with my husband, who is a much more adventurous and better chef than I am.
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I am learning new things. How to play guitar, how to dance the flamenco, and new languages. I spend time on improving myself and reading. History. Sake-tasting (kikizake). I spend time not just doing something, but taking time to polish it and do it right. I don’t spend time chasing after dirty children, cleaning up their messes or driving them to some piano lessons they don’t want to go to anyway.
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I travel for my job. I love my job. I’m in and out around Asian countries (exotic to me because I’m from the southern US) which are all new and fascinating. I take time to learn the culture and the local languages on more than a superficial level. I participate in the community. I don’t need to worry about whether or not my kids are fitting in or making friends. I fit in myself, and make my own friends.
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I spend time supporting my husband. We have great communication. He’s ambitious and smart in his own field, and I support him when he needs it the same way he supports me when I need it. We’re affectionate and increasingly close - this is all something I can devote all my extra time and energy into, who I love. Not because I “have” to, but because I want to. I want him to succeed, I want him to be happy. I don’t want to baby him, and I don’t. One day when he’s 80 I may, though, be willing to change a diaper or two for him.
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And sex, sex. We have an open, adventurous sex life. Walk around the house naked. Stay fit and wear lingerie. Yummy time.
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I watch what I want. I like crime stories, violent movies, historical dramas, “foreign” films, erotic art films. I do not have to watch Mickey Mouse on repeat. Unless I want to. (Admittedly, Animaniacs is high on my list.) I go to classical concerts and live jazz houses. I enjoy the presence of an older, more refined, mature, intellectual audience. I do not worry about babysitters.
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I wear nice clothes that flatter. I spend money on tailored outfits, not pret-a-porté crap meant to be destroyed by grubby hands and puke. I save for elegant, timeless pieces instead of “making do” with what’s on sale because I need to buy four of them. I can wear Louboutin heels because I want to feel sexy, and do not need to run around in sneakers all. the. time. (Sneakers are awesome too. But I wear them because I want to, not because I have to.)
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My husband and I recently bought a house. It’s a “fixer-upper.” More than 150-year-old house in the Japanese countryside. I love it. We have a big plan of how we’re going to improve it over the next ten years. We’re going to have space for family to visit, to do all our activities, to invite big important foreign cheeses. (Husband’s job.) It’ll cost money. We’re not going to plan where to put the baby’s room. We’re going to have a hot tub. We’re going to have a big garden we can enjoy the quiet changing of the seasons. WITHOUT the screams of kids. Just birds, birds.
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I volunteer on the weekends. I help out at cat rescue center (we rehabilitate cats through a cat cafe, and guests can adopt them). I also do volunteer work for the local government - I translate pamphlets and websites, write newspaper articles and run the odd old folks’ cultural event (maybe once a year).
Okay, that’s enough about me. I think it all boils down to being able to use the resources you have - time, money, friendship and community - to your own advantage, instead of having to pour them into a creature who doesn’t know how to use or appreciate them.
Children are the “avocado toast” of a person’s life. They’re a luxury. They’re one of the undeniably main reasons everyone is broke and miserable, stuck in dead-end marriages and despised jobs. You need to choose - children, or dreams. Many parents are bitter because they didn’t realize this until it was too late, so they take out their frustration on those who did actively make the choice to live for themselves. (This is why r/childfree is important - there are few spaces we can vent about this.)
And although a lot of this leisure post was about ways we spend money, it’s not about money - it’s about fulfillment. "Things" will pass away, but experiences will never leave you. It’s about working towards a dream or a goal and seeing yourself make progress. It’s about removing that which is holding you back.
I understand parents insist that kids are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they wouldn’t have it any other way. If that’s true, then all the more to them, but I feel as if 9/10 times they say such a thing it’s just a desperate attempt to make sour-grapes excuses for the otherwise bitter realization that they could have had more and done more.
Anyway, this leisure post has turned into a bit of a rant / rave / discussion / whoknowswhat tag. So that’s enough counting of blessings for today.
Submitted December 11, 2018 at 04:52AM by TheSphynxCat https://ift.tt/2Pve2Yf
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