I think it’s been about 2 years since I stopped cutting with razors. When I used to do it, it wasn’t a lot, but I still knew it was self harm. I don’t really know what motivated me to stop, but when I stopped cutting I started self harming a different way, and I guess it just feels less valid.
I’ve started carving little triangles into places on my body (typically with wooden nail art tools). I know it seems obvious that that would be self harm, but it just feels like I’m isolated from everyone else who self harms. Even explaining it to other people who self harm, I just feel like my pain is less valid. I feel like I’ve become obsessed with the way the scars look though, and I can’t stop myself.
I guess I just don’t feel like I have a community anymore. When I was cutting I at least knew there was people who were also doing this. I felt less alone. Now I just feel like an outlier, and not in a good way.
Submitted October 15, 2019 at 05:34AM by 1BubbleBee1 https://ift.tt/2VGmDMo
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